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How can you get a VERY selfish man to change?

Ten years in and I am out of ideas?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Dec. 25, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • well, after 10 years, I think you figured out already that you can't get anyone to change if they don't want to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • From what I have been through, a man never changes. They promise to but in the end they are to selfish to stop there bs. A good man is either good or he is bad. I don't believe people change but thats just because every guy has proven it to me.
    Morgan.

    Answer by Morgan. at 12:20 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • Hun...21 years later and I've not figured it out either!!! He's in the "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" catagory now so I'm not holding on to much hope that if I do finally find out how then it'll be too late...LMAO!
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 12:20 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • exactly...

    he wnt change unless he is willing sweet heart... hate to break it to you...

    its up to YOU to tell yourself wether or not ur willing to deal with it...
    kwiseman19

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 12:21 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • YOU can't get him to change. If he doesn't want to he won't and seeing how he is very selfish he probally doesn't care. After 10 years you'd think you've learned that you can't change a man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • Oh sweetie, I am sure you have heard the drill: you can't change anyone but yourself. So what to do next? That is all on you. You can't change his behavior but you can change how you respond to it and in turn he has to respond (or not respond) and then you respond back. It is a dance. So do you continue to dance this dance or do you decide to stop and move on? You can have a real talk - as in this is what I need, this is what I demand and expect, this is what I do when I don't get what I need from my partner. He most likely may not know you are drop dead serious after ten years of doing that dance. So convince him and make him a believer. He will either care or not care. But either way it really does all fall onto what you are willing to take.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:49 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • Why do you want him to change?

    Either you accept him "as is" or not.

    Certainly, one partner can attempt to emphasize positive qualities in the other but at the end of the day, it's all warts or nothing.

    And after 10 years? For real? You have no clue?

    NEXT
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:20 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • well another word to descirbe a man is selfish !!!!! hey r all the same dear
    they r selfish
    fire

    Answer by fire at 8:08 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • When (or if) you figure it out please post the solution here for the rest of us!!
    3timesoccermom

    Answer by 3timesoccermom at 9:25 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • the best thing to do is to change your response to his selfishness because you'll NEVER be able to change him.

    Just like he won't be able to change you.
    beautifulinlove

    Answer by beautifulinlove at 11:54 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

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