How do I deal with inviting the other woman...?

My husband had an emotional affair with my now ex-best friend. She attends the same church and the elders have yet to deal with her. She has two kids my dson is not close with any more. My son is having his third bday party and I am inviting all the other kids his age from church, and seeing as its a toddler party, parents are staying. If I don't invite her kids, they would be the only ones left out, and it isn't their fault their moms s ......... But if I do invite them, of course I have to deal with her being there. Most of the other parents know the situation. What do I do do? Invite and maybe someone will see Gods grace working thru me, or some other option? Cuz really my emotions would rather like to screw her and let her deal with the exclusion. She knows why... But is that.right?

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Asked by missbreezy214 at 2:08 AM on Aug. 16, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

212 Level 8

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just be civil and entertain the way you would at any other party; if she approaches you and tries to talk have a civilized conversation with her but put your focus on the party; it isn't the kids fault she is this way and you have to sometimes put the past behind you and swallow your pride and just be a good hostess

Answer by Christmaslver68 at 9:08 AM on Aug. 18, 2011
Credits: 250675 Level 47 Religion & Beliefs Minor

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He has been addressed and actions have been taken concerning his role in the problem. He has a long road to gaining my trust. I don't feel it is right to exclude the children. My mom suggested giving the invite to her older boy so he knows he was invited but writing on the invite thate and that my son wants them to come,.and if she could find someone to bring them to the party and supervise they are more than welcome.

Comment by missbreezy214 (original poster) at 3:18 PM on Aug. 17, 2011
Credits: 212 Level 8
So who is dealing with your husband? You say the elders are going to deal with the woman, but who has dealt with him? I would not invite her or the children to the party. Strengthen your boundaries about what is acceptable and not acceptable in your life. The fact that you even have to ask this at all, says to me that you feel you have no real rights in your home to say anything to anybody. It's not the elders business to deal with an emotional affair or its fall out. It's yours.

Answer by lilangilyn at 2:59 PM on Aug. 17, 2011
Credits: 4311 Level 17 Religion & Beliefs Minor

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Don't punish the children for the mother's "crime." Invite them.

Answer by tasches at 1:18 PM on Aug. 17, 2011
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We will probably have it at a park.

My husband has realized his error and we are working thru that.

Anyone have any good scripture that might help?

Comment by missbreezy214 (original poster) at 4:12 PM on Aug. 16, 2011
Credits: 212 Level 8
If the party were taking place at church, I would say invite her and don't have much to do with her. However, there is NO WAY I would ever invite her into my home. I'm all for being polite in public, but I draw the line at having to host people in my home that have treated me poorly. No, no, no.no!

Answer by Marwill at 2:36 PM on Aug. 16, 2011
Credits: 3470 Level 17 Religion & Beliefs 101

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I'd say that she lost the right to have her feelings taken into consideration when she ignored YOUR feelings. As you say. Don't invite her. She'll know why.

Answer by witchqueen at 1:16 PM on Aug. 16, 2011
Credits: 38712 Level 29 Religion & Beliefs Degree

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Where does your husband stand in all this? Yes, you should forgive and move on..but has your husband regained your trust enough to allow her in your home? I'm definitely not trying to encourage these thoughts..but i know that would be the first thing I would think of.. at 3 years old your son will not be affected by the exclusion of her children at the party..He is going to have fun at his party regardless of them being there or not.. and you dont need to do this to prove God's grace working through you to anyone..if you are going to do it..its because you want to show God..not the people.But if you want to move on from whats occurred, invite her..she may not go anyway ..If you do.. I admire you, mama..I would not let any"strange woman" LOL (as the bible calls them) step foot in my house after disrespecting me and my marriage

Answer by WifeNmommy86 at 1:08 PM on Aug. 16, 2011
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I was going to say invite them and be the bigger person, but Sharon beat me to it. lol

Answer by popzaroo at 11:31 AM on Aug. 16, 2011
Credits: 44931 Level 30 Religion & Beliefs Degree

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"I personally would do the whole "kill them with kindness" thing. She feels like a huge a** probably can't imagine how she's gunna feel if you invite her kids."

I agree with this and sugamama3. You can be the bigger person. It seems like it's gonna be a big party, you're gonna be busy, so you won't really be with her, she's just gonna be there. And who knows? maybe she won't even feel comfortable going.

Sharon

Answer by momto2boys973 at 11:09 AM on Aug. 16, 2011
Credits: 84979 Level 36 Religion & Beliefs Major

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