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Does counseling work?

So my DH and I just got seperated. We have a lot of issues that have been on going for a long time and it feels like we'll never get past them. So we're going to counseling and so many people say it really works but I also hear a lot of people say its worthless. What do you think? I need some hope.

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JoonBug21

Asked by JoonBug21 at 1:24 AM on Dec. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It does work, if you select a good counselor....get a referral from a friend or relative! And most importantly...if both people are willing and dedicated to making the difficult choices and do the work.

    There is hope if you are willing to keep looking for it. It is a process...don't expect it to get better right away...it takes time and much effort.
    I hope it all works out for you!

    take care and good luck!
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 1:30 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • I agree with the above poster - if both people really want to salvage their relationship, I I truly believe counseling can work.

    If you want to read lots of "Can this marriage be saved" counseling profiles - check out Ladies Home Journal website - I think it's www.lhj.com - or you can google it. They have a monthly column called "Can this marriage be saved?" - and maybe reading some of those will give you an idea of what to expect from counseling.

    They're fun to read, too.

    ~De
    devante9901

    Answer by devante9901 at 1:42 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Counseling can only work if you and your husband take it seriously. I work in the field myself and always tell my clients that I will never work harder than they do.
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 2:12 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • The guidance of the counselor is a great help but remember if the mindset of you and your husband does not change, it is not the fault of the Counselor.
    I recommend picking up a copy of the DVD, "The Secret" its a great start to changing how you think. Its works wonders when both of you are working toward the same goals for your relationship.
    LisaRenee
    Lisa47

    Answer by Lisa47 at 2:31 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • it works ONLY if you want it to. one party will go into it wanting to fix the marriage & the other will be in denial or afraid that they will have to fess-up to the blame...so it wont work, because they dont want to hear that the problem is them & its them that has to change...Let it work for you & dont worry if it is or is not working for him, thats his responsibility! if it doesnt help you in this relationship, then it will help in the next.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Yes it does work but you both have to want it to work also. Good Luck to you!
    lapcounter

    Answer by lapcounter at 8:32 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Dh and I went to counseling a few years ago because we were discussing separation and not sure that we were still in love with each other. It did help us enormously! I do think it depends on a few factors- compatibility with the counselor (so feel free to shop around if the fit doens't feel right with the first counselor) and each person's willingness to change. I won't lie, it was hard- I had to accept some harsh truths about myself and so did dh. But it was very worth it!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 8:59 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • It can work only when the persons involved are willing to make the necessary changes that are spelled out by the person who is doing the counseling. To simply have the problem areas stated and acknowledged will do no good unless you are both willing to allow changes to take place in those areas.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:43 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • You're both only going to get out of it what you both put into it. But yes, it does work. Good Luck!
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 10:21 AM on Dec. 26, 2008

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