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Recently divorced...

I recently divorced my husband of 18 years because he suffers from severe clinical depression and has been verbally and emotionally abusive. I feel guilty at times bc some friends/family said that I should have supported him. Has anyone gone thru this?? Any advice??

 
kiwi0613

Asked by kiwi0613 at 5:45 PM on Jul. 14, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • They don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Sorry but that's just wrong. Only you and your hubby (and maybe a counselor) could possibly know the truth.

    If they said anything in front of my kids, my mama bear would be coming out. But if the kids weren't around (and I mean AT ALL) then I would assertively tell these people that yes depression is tough, but unless he went and got help and changed, you were still being abused?!
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:24 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • If that is the only reason, maybe yes you should support but however if he has been abusive to you I dont know if that is a effect of depression..maybe ask DR..then decide if you go back!but on the other side if the habbit is already formed.you could be in for it medication or not.good luck
    BUSYMAMA5

    Answer by BUSYMAMA5 at 6:21 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • That's a tough situation. Ultimatley it doesn't matter what your family thinks, it's all how you feel about the situation. Maybe you could try to rekindle things, very slowly. You have to know that he's changed. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, whether the guy is clinically depressed or not.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 8:43 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • i say yes you should have supported him, and if you believe in the power of prayer you could make it work
    camtri3

    Answer by camtri3 at 9:06 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I GUESS IT WAS NOT A MARRAIAGE MADE IN HEAVEN BECAUSE YOU MADE A VOW YOU SHOULD KEEP IT BUT, YOU ALSO NEED NOT BE ABUSED BUT IT SAYS SICKNESS AND HEALTH AND THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SICKNESS NOT A ABUSER.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • dont feel guilty, you cant save him and you shouldnt let him take you down with him, as far as what others think, they dont know how your life is and if they want they can reach out to him and try to help him, im sure you did your best but you cant throw your life away on someone who cant be helped
    georgesmommy31

    Answer by georgesmommy31 at 11:44 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • My MIL has been dealing with her husband like this. Plus they have gone from being stable $$ to bankruptcy. I would have never been able to deal with it. Please do not feel guilty. You deserve to be happy and to get away from all the depression. It really adds up over the years. It is no ones business but yours.
    mommakline

    Answer by mommakline at 12:24 AM on Jul. 15, 2008

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