Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Who would have a better chance of getting custody?

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and have a 9 month old daughter. I want to work things out but it doesnt seem like things are going to get better....He tells me he doesnt want to be with me a lot..I dont want him to get custody because I am with her 24/7 and always have been he does nothing really but pay for things since I dont have a job. what can I do? Do you think hed even get a chance to get fulll custody?

Answer Question

Asked by alivmom at 1:53 PM on Dec. 26, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • The courts usually side with the mom, especially with very young children. If you were a bad mother then the courts are more likely to consider him.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 2:04 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • if your thinking of leaving you better get a job becuz you will need to prove you can support your baby with out him. they usualy side with the mother but thats not always the case if the mother isnt working and the father can prove he is stable and has child care for the child then they do go that way at times.
    make sure you got all your ducks in a row first.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 2:07 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • The courts don't side with the mother. The courts grant residential custody to the child's primary care give which happens to be the mother in most cases. As you have been the primary care giver you will get residencial custody. There will most likely be joint legal custody(you both must agree on legal decisions regarding the child...schools, doctors, stuff like that). They don't tend to grant full custody to either parent anymore. There has to be proof of danger to the child, or the dad has to agree to it. He'll get liberal visitation, so get yourself emotionally prepared to be able to hand your daughter over for a few days at a time. He isn't a stranger to the child so you may be able to get graduated visitation, but the odds are he'll start right out with overnights and possibly every other weekend.

    Answer by desert_diva at 2:49 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • More often than not the courts side with the mother hands down. It would probably help if you maybe looked into going back to school or getting a part time job and looking for suitable child care. That way if he were to take you to court you would have a plan of action as to how you would support your child financially, outside of the child support that you would of course be receiving.


    Answer by micrespo at 3:18 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • When I tried to get full custody of my daughter they told my that the father has just as much right as the mother. The only thing you can do is write everything down like when he sees her, how he treats you, does he buy her things when you ask,........ If he is doing everything that he needs to be doing the you both will have to share custody. The only way you will get full custody is if he is not there for her and you have to have proof. So just make sure you write eveything down that happens.

    Answer by andrea86160 at 4:42 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • The courts are usually very good at judging the character of parents. As long as you keep doing everything you need to for child you are fine.  They pick the parent that is most stable, able to provide not only materialistically but emotionally as well.  It helps that you are with your child the most.  I do advise you to be civil with your boyfriend so when you go to court you look good as trying to keep him the baby's life.  Good Luck to you mama.


    Answer by NuMommy87 at 5:28 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • great answer desert diva. That's usually how it goes. Of course in my case, since I was on state aid my child support got set up while I was at the hospital and the papers stated that I was to retain full legal and physical custody with him receiving reasonable visitation. There was never anything set up for a schedule. The only way he would get any say is if he went to court to have it changed, which he never did. I guess what you do if you want full custody is to file before he does,

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 2:10 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.