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Am I asking too much?

My son's father insists that I meet him far from my home to exchange ds. Money is very tight for us right now and he has alot more so I am wondering is it wrong for me to ask to meet one day(for pickup/drop off) and have him come the whole way for the other? It has to be mentioned that he is supporting his new fiancee and her baby(not his) w/high special needs, financially. iI feel like i am being asked to pay for his financial choices. Sometimes the gas in my car has to last a looong time. I don't think it's asking too much. Do you? ty ladies.

 
Bearsjen

Asked by Bearsjen at 2:30 PM on Dec. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • If you simply do not have the funds to pay to meet him half way - tell him that and if you are the type of person who can, ask he can pay it and then you can continue to do so.

    It isnt your fault you are tight on cash - just ask him. If he makes a big deal, just apologise and say I can't help that I do not have the money. I am willing to meet you but I need your help to pay for gas.

    I know you are pissed towards him on your son's behalf but don't let it show to him. Share all your anger and frustration with your friends and whoever you can talk to about it - but dont show it to him. He will only use it to make excuses as to why he cant see his son, if he chooses not to pay gas. I hope it gets easier for you to deal with that resentment...just try to talk to it with people and accept your feelings and move forward.

    And dont beat yourself up about the gas! Its not your fault you dont have the money :)
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 6:23 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Probably the best you can hope for is to meet halfway each time. You could ask him calmly and pleasantly if he'd mind the arrangement that you have in mind, but if he is having financial problems he might not be agreeable.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:33 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • ya know the one thing that bothered me about this hole post is that you seem upset that he is supporting his new family and why was it important for you to stress that his fiances child has special needs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • wanted to add he cleared 1000,000 last yr.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 2:36 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Halfway is fair.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:37 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • A fair man wouldn't ask you to do that unless he was kind enough to send you a gas card or increase your child support to pay for extras like gas to go meet him. Personally I think he's out of line. I've never had a man ask me to meet him to pick up his own child.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:39 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Your damn right it bothers me that he is spending my son's college fund to support another persona special needs child. Hey terrific-be a superhero to your kids-but how about to all of them-not just the one whose mom you are with now. It isn't his child and I don't think that I or my son should fork out money we don't have so he can play the superhero.wrong?
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 2:44 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • All you can do is ask. He might just do it. If not, you might have to just deal with meeting 1/2 way.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 2:48 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • i wasn't trying to upset you but it just sounds like you hold alot of resentment that he has moved on. thats all and be thankful he even wants to see his son. my children don't see their father he doesn't buy birthday presents or even cards or anything for christmas it is like he is non existant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Sorry, didn't mean to snap-I am resentful for my son-not self. I just think he is digging his heals in about petty stuff. Trust me if I had the $ i would avoid any kind of crap with him at all costs.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 2:54 PM on Dec. 26, 2008