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What would you do?

What would you do if you had a husband that you loved with all of your heart but your not sure if he loves you anymore? ie talked down to you, yelled at you daily, cheated on you, ordered you around and threatens to leave you if you don't do it the way he wants it to be done? Please answer because I'm in that situation right now and I'm trying to figure out the best thing to do. Please don't judge.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Dec. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I would leave him, that isn't a healthy environment to be in, even more so if you have children. Maybe you could see if he is up for some counselling or is willing to change. If he treats you like that in front of your kids chances are that they will grow up thinking that that kind of behavior is okay, and it isn't. Good luck Hun.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • I'm know it's heartbreaking to go through this, I think though that it would be best to go your seperate ways. It's not going to be easy, but you deserve more from him that what he is giving you. There is more than just physical abuse in relationships. Emotional can be just as painful, and that's what he sounds like he's doing to you.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 3:31 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • It is time to have a legal separation. He should move out, not you. Check with a lawyer. You may want to get some counseling, too. It is a really rough thing for you to consider. Think about, though, the rest of your life in the situation where you are now. He's cheating on you, too. Then you should get a test for STD's as well. Start getting money in accounts in your own name. Get counseling, talk to a lawyer. Good luck!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:34 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Your probably hoping for somebody to say that it is normal, because I know how hard it is trust me!! But no it's not. The way he is treating you is unacceptable and he needs to know this. If he does love you still somewhere deep inside then if you told him that you had enough and were leaving he would change, if it doesn;t work then it's not meant to be. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. There is such thing as verbal and emotional abuse, So my vote is to get out of the relationship if there is no change. Good luck too you!
    Rachael3096

    Answer by Rachael3096 at 3:36 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • He doesn't deserve the love you've given him. You can go for marriage counseling, on your own if he won't go.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:37 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • If thats how he treated me...Id leave. Id talk to him and tell him how I felt but odds are it wouldnt lead to a change in him. Sounds like he's all about control.

    So Id talk to him, then pack and leave. See what happens from there.

    You have to decide what your worth is. You are worth more than how he's treating you but you have to come to that conclusion on your own. If you have kids, how much are they worth? Are they worth being raised that treating women that way or being treated that way(if they are girls) is ok? Or would you rather have them raised in an enviroment where they are taught they are valued and should treated as such and that they should treat their spouses as such,etc.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 3:40 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Well, I want to first tell you that he is emotionally abusing you. You must demand respect to get it. And if he talks down to you, yells at you like a kid, cheats on you- and you continue to submit and accept it, then you are TEACHING him how to treat you. You need to raise your self-esteem. How? Do something for yourself daily. Something that will make YOU feel good about being you. Find an affirmation (somet positive and encouraging words) and write it down on. Put it somewhere you will see it everyday and that can make you smile. Consider going to seek outside help. If he won't go with you , then atleast do it for yourself. He has beat you down and you need to surround yourself with positive people. Show him that you are worthy! Teach him how to treat you by not accepting the way he treats you now. Good luck!
    Dicea

    Answer by Dicea at 4:04 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • I would leave! 

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 4:15 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • You have to do whats best for you and no one deserves that mental abuse. Its scary to but belittled to nothing and stand your ground but believe me if your a swetheart or a B*tch you stil dont deserve that treatment. It may be hard but once you leave you'll have your eyes opened and not all men are bad or mean. You deserve to be loved nothing less. Plus some counsling may help you emotionally even if its short term just to help ya get built back up. You can keep in touch with me if you want to.
    mocamomma22

    Answer by mocamomma22 at 5:00 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

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