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if you knew that your best friend's husband was doing drugs behind her back and he reached out to your husband for help in confidence, would you tell her?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Dec. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Nope, don't get involved. It is none of your business.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • nope. not ur place to tell her.. HE needs to tell her. ur husband could try to tell him to talk to his wife. shes goin to find out when he gets help anyway

    Answer by chrstny88 at 3:41 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Not yet. See if he is actually serious about getting help. If he starts to use more or it looks dangerous then tell her. If he is serious about getting help and he confides in your husband then if you tell his wife he will lose trust for your husband and just use behind all of your backs. It really isn't your guys place to tell her either in my opinion, u can try to have him be upfront with his wife by encouraging him though. Good luck.

    Answer by Rachael3096 at 3:41 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Not if he reached out 'in confidence' as you put it. I take it you mean that he reached out for help.  If he reached out for help from your husband, then try to leave it between them.  If it's a potential life-threatening issue though, I guess that would be the only case where you should betray his trust.  If you really don't think you can keep this whole thing from your best friend, then tell him FIRST that you think his wife should know and give him the opportunity to tell her himself.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • For me, it would depend on my level of friendship with that friend. I have two best friends and I would tell them because they know that I am looking out for them. But that would only and I mean, only be if I saw or overheard him for myself admit to doing drugs. Otherwise, if it is only coming from my husband then I would tell my husband to encourage our friend to tell his wife what is going on or to get help before he ruins his and their life. If it is a friend on a different level- then I would have to just pray for them. I would NOT get involved because it is not your PLACE to tell.

    Answer by Dicea at 3:49 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Absolutely not. And even if someone were to say something it would be your husband. He reached out to him in confidence, not you. Because he did it in confidence he is obviously not ready to let his SO know but in talking to your husband about it he may be ready to get help. I think that you should allow him to seek help before you tell your friend. She may also redirect her anger at you and your husband for knowing and not saying anything right away. It is their relationship and it is his responsibility to communicate any issues with her, not yours.

    Answer by micrespo at 3:51 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • No I would never tell-thats not my problem or my business to be getting involved in! When you tell a friend something about their partner it can often backfire and make you look like the "bad guy" It is not your responsibility as a friend to tattle on her husband:) Futhermore, I would be surprised if she doesn't already suspect it and if not she will find out soon enough. Forget everything you heard and move on!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • he reached out to your husband for help in confidence,.........Ok, you know because of your husband, correct? Its confidential and you aren't suppose to know. Maybe your husband can help him, he is reaching out


    Answer by Kat122 at 4:08 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • i would stay out of it cause the guy finds out then his stress level will hit hard and he wont get the help if his confidence got broken. i am sure he will tell his wife but let it be on his terms not yours

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • IF he is willing to reach out for help then you dont need to say a word. Telling her could ruin everything.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 4:33 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

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