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Why does he say "I don't care"

I have been trying to have discussions with my 18 ds about getting his life in the right direction and he always says "I don't care"? What is the real meaning behind that, because I know deep down he does care! He is bright and has a great sense of humor that could take him far. He says I make him feel like crap, and I love him and do not mean to. Help?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Dec. 26, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (14)
  • Is his name Pierre?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Can't wait till you have a teenager. Thanks for your support.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • maybe he just wants to hear all the positive things instead of all the bad things anyone has to say. i wouldnt even mention any bad things he has done, just look at the future and see how you can help by mentioning a positive.

    maybe he says he doesnt care cause he doesnt want to hear all the bad stuff??

    Answer by americansugar80 at 6:51 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • I do have a teenager..well 3 of them in fact. Thanks for assuming. Maybe part of your problem is you have no sense of humor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Like I said thanks for the support.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Without more details, I can't say if my suggestion is valid or not, but could he be depressed? Sometimes, when people are depressed, they really don't care. If he is depressed, he can see a dr for an official diagnosis, and he can try things, like changing his diet, supplements, or medication, to help him get out of it. Once something works, he'll begin to care again. Just a thought.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:20 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • maybe he's doing it to piss you off. maybe he thinks you are being too up all in his business. not that that is a mature out look to have but some guys are like friend's brother was like that..acting all like a punk & stuff because his parents kept after him about stuff

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • When they say, "I don't care", the probability is that they actually do care. I believe that when you talk with him or suggest something to him about his life he feels like your trying to tell him what to do. Therefore, he probably knows that the last thing YOU want to hear is, "I don't care."

     I would just tell him, "I love you and want only the best for you but you're going to make your own decisions and reap your own consequences. If you ever want to talk you know I'm here for you." Let him live and learn when you can. I know it's hard to watch your young adult make bad choices or not live up to their capabilities. I know as a parent I expect Great Things from my children. I'm sure you are no different.


    Answer by Southerncharmes at 9:52 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

  • Thats a great statement, isn't it? I don't Care pretty much means, leave me alone, let me handle this, I am 18, don't bug me, let me live my life. I have heard them all from my 19 year old. Its their way of trying to grow up but really not knowing how. Does that make sense? Instead of saying somethng to him, ask him questions about what he wants to do and see how he answers them. Asking questions is also a way for you to learn about him. I know we have had them for 18 years and we should already know them, but, when they hit the teens, they are different. I changed the way i talked to my daughter and learned a lot more from her and she didn't even know it. So Ask, Don't tell.

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:32 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Maybe he does not know what he wants to do with his life??...Does he attend classes??..Maybe he just feels like he does not have any skills to do anything with his life?? online classes might help him decide what he would like to do; not even a full schedule (which can be overwhelming) but just one online class to begin with, and if it something he feels good about them perhaps he will sign up for more when that one is complete

    Answer by restlessspirit at 11:36 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

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