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I am married with 3 children who keep us very busy and happy but....i have had no sex life in 6 months! My husband suffers from physical pain and depression and has totally withdrawn himself. Does anyone have any encouraging words for me as i am getting very lonely?.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:06 AM on Dec. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • My Dh's antidep meds can make him not want sex sometimes. And he routinely works 14-18 hours a day. What worked for us was for me to say "I need this from you" in a loving way without making the situation worse. Since your dh suffers from depression, you don't want to say "you're messing up" to him. Instead, focus on saying what you need. There have been times when Dh chose to use toys to allow me pleasure that he was giving, but he wasn't physically doing "it". I opt not to masturbate alone, but he's encouraged me to when he's with me but just doesn't feel up to sex himself. The biggest thing is for you 2 to communicate about it before it becomes such a problem you become tempted elsewhere.
    GrowingMama

    Answer by GrowingMama at 3:15 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I'm sorry you are so lonely-right there w/you. I agree that hubby is sensitive right now but yanno what-so are you. I get so tired of tiptoeing around other people at the cost of myself. Good luck and I hope it gets better soon.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 3:52 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I WOULD SAY LOVE IS STRONGER THAN SEX AND WHEN YOU TOOK YOUR VOWS DID YOU SAY IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH ???? THIS WOULD BE THE TIME HE NEEDS YOU THE MOST ! JUST GIVE HIM TIME IS THERE A HOBBY YOU CAN DO TO KEEP YOUR MIND OFF THIS FOR NOW ? ASK YOURSELF WOULD HE HANG IN THERE FOR YOU ??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • its funny guys call escort services, its all hushed hush. they get what they want & dont even feel guilty for it. but we as girls get blasted if we think about. Sex & love are two different things, even though we show our love thru sex. i know...i know...i can hear you all yelling at me for this, but sometimes a good f@#king friend is just that.... a good F@#king friend...its not cheating if you both understand the rules & not personally involved..right? Isnt that the excuses the guys give for buying time with an escort????not exactly good advice, mind you...but before id loose a good hubby & a good relationship. I know if you leave something unattended long enough it WILL go somewhere else....being lonely is just as bad as being depressed & on meds......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

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