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How often do you have someone babysit your kids other then when working?

Sometimes I feel like we need a break or I need a chance to clean with out interuptions but I feel so guilty at the thought of having someone watch my kid other then when I'm at work. We've only done it a couple times and shes 6 months old. Once was to see a movie and we went straight there and straight back to get her and the other time was to go shopping for some bigger clothes for her about an hour away and the roads were bad so we decided not to take her. But like my b/f and I were talking about New Years Eve and he wanted us to both go out and drink and he basically hinted to me that his ma would keep our daughter over night and I told him absoultly not and he told me I need to get over that. I just can't though... just thinking about being away from her over night makes me want to cry. Shes only 6 months old. Is this normal or do I have issues?

 
dtetz

Asked by dtetz at 10:30 AM on Dec. 27, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (16)
  • lol...you're normal to me, but then again, I have issues. I never leave my child unless it is absolutely necessary...i.e. work, annual pap, and not much else. She was robbed from me once over night when I was so sick I was passing out (I have really low blood pressure and for some reason when I'm really sick I pass out left and right). She is 3 and I'm getting really nervous about having to leave her over night when I deliver her sister. Don't let anyone push you...and if you do leave her before you're comfortable, I promise you will hate it and wont have any fun anyway.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 12:43 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Rarely. My dad has just started watching my kids for a couple of hours so me and hubby can get shopping done without dragging them with us. This last month he has watched all 4 of them for 3 hours (when we went grocery shopping on Tuesday) and watched my youngest (age 2 1/2) while the others were at school earlier in the month so we could go Christmas shopping. We also went out to lunch that day. It was the FIRST time we had been out to eat alone in 4 years. It was nice. If my dad is feeling okay I'm going to see if he'll watch the kids so we can go out for our anniversary on the 7th. We haven't been out alone on that day since our 1st anniversary...8 years ago.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 10:38 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • It is quite normal. I was the same way. When you are apart you think about and worry about the baby. If you are feeling too stressed about leaving her at this point then you shouldn't. On the other hand, if it would cause problems with your bf and since his mother is willing to have the baby overnight, then you should consider this. If you decide to go out, do it bravely and don't let him see that you are worried since it would irritate him and spoil his fun. You may find that you have a very good time and are refreshed by the break, and the baby will be fine.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:40 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • my mil takes my 6 month old son over night about 2 a month....it gives me a break....
    at first it was so hard for me i calld about every hour to check on him......
    as long as you trust he person to watch her over night, i would call to check in but enjoy your night you deserve a break.........
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • My kids are 7 & 5, and they are never with a sitter when I'm not working. They do, however, stay with grandma and grandpa from time to time. Mostly sleepovers, but also when I need to do Christmas or birthday shopping, more rarely if I need to run an errand that I just really feel would be faster and/or easier without them. It amounts to maybe once every 3-4 months. For me it's a combination of guilt at the idea of someone else caring for my kids while I do nothing (even if I'm doing something, guilt says it's nothing), I don't trust anyone other than my parents with my kids, and I have no real reason to have someone else watch my kids.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:11 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Just to clarify (I re-read and realized my last statement sounded nasty), I'm not saying you don't have a real reason. What I meant is that I'm single, and I don't date, no money to go out and shop or whatever. Mostly, my hobbies are reading, watching TV/movies, or bubble baths, all of which I can do when the kids are here or in bed. There's nothing wrong with leaving your child with a sitter from time to time and going out with your bf. The feelings you have are perfectly normal. To be honest, the best way to get past them is to do it: leave her with his mom or another sitter/person that you trust and go out. Yes, you will worry. But when you pick her up, you'll see that she's happy and healthy and none the worse for wear, and it will help to ease your feelings.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:14 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • This idea that children have to spend every single breathing second with their parents (mother) is a fairly new one, ya know. Historically, when people lived in small tribes/communities, the entire community/tribe watched out for the kids. The kids didn't just stay under mom's thumb all the time. Relatives were an important part of a child's life. I remember spending summers and weekends and so forth with my assorted relatives spread all over the country. It was fun and I wouldn't trade my relationships with my aunts and grandparent's for anything. I send my kids to relatives and friends houses...always have since they were babies. They now have a vast network of relatives and friends that they love and cherish. Leave the baby, enjoy your night with your husband. Have fun.
    mizkaye

    Answer by mizkaye at 11:39 AM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • My 3 year old has been babysat 8 times (the first time he was 4 months old) and my 15 month old has been babysat 5 times (he was also 4 months old the first time we left him)

    I'm a SAHM too so now that I am examining this...I guess I have hardly EVER been away from our kids! haha

    Personally, I don't think I would have been comfortable with over-night babysitting at such a young age. My 3 year old has been babysat over-night one when he was 2 (by my parents) and that was hard enough for me!! I think the way you are feeling is totally normal!!!
    mum2gr8byz

    Answer by mum2gr8byz at 12:29 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • not often. my sis watched her Christmas Eve for a few hours so I could do some last minute shopping with my husband and back on the 6th of the month my mom watched her so I could go to a ladies advent tea at church. I cannot think of another time since last years advent tea
    sweetdragoness

    Answer by sweetdragoness at 1:10 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I feel the same way. We do it very rarely. Once very couple of months, and only on Saturdays when we are with them most of the day.
    Silvertears1275

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 1:17 PM on Dec. 27, 2008