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out of control behavior for my 2yr old...what to do?

my son turned 2 in August and he had behavioral problems before that but i know the terrible twos are happening but it seems like they have just escalated to out of control....he hits me, the walls, the 14 month old daughter just anything and everything and kicking has also become another big issue as well i am just glad he isnt biting...i feel like all i am doing is telling him no and its starting to really frustrate me and overwhelm me big time and i live at home with my parents currently so when he gets in trouble he gets spanked and they yell (i admit i have done it myself) and then it escalates even more because of that with the hitting and kicking...we also dont get to see their father very often since my parents dont like him so i am kind of by myself until i can move out on my own....i know he is 2 but it seems very out of control for me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Dec. 27, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (4)
  • he sounds angry and frustrated. when he gets "that way" try to teach him to calm himself down. you may have to physically restrain him while he screams, just to get him past that rage. you can get him a toy that is OK to hit, like a little punching bag or bop bag. it's ok to feel mad, but when he feels mad, it's NOT ok to hit anything but his bag. (or pillow, or mattress). my class has a little red stuffed chair. it's the "thinking chair" from blue's clues. when kids are in trouble or simply overwhelmed, they can sit there and no one will bug them. you can suggest "why don't you take a minute in your thinking chair until you feel better, and come back when you're ready to be a friend to your sister and mommy. if you are able to find a solution to this problem, you can utilize it with other problems. perhaps your folks will see that his behavior can change without hitting him.

    Answer by vickiathome at 1:51 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Spanking just makes the problem worse. The goal is to teach him not to let himself get out of control in the first place and if he does then he needs the adults to be calm and redirect him. Sounds like the poor little guy has too many people trying to control him. I can imagine staying with your parents is hard, situations like that usually are. I hope for you to be able to get your own place soon, so that you can raise him in a calmer more loving and logical manner.

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 2:03 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • thank you :) I will definatly consider everything he finally calmed himself down after 2 hrs of tantrums and htting and kicking.....its definatly frustrating thats for sure thanks bunches

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • First thing is first, take a deep breathe and relax. my two year old is the boss, I tried everything, saying no spanking etc. The spanking does not work, he will only mimic what is happening to him and that makes things worse, you feel real bad when a two year old starts to mimic the spaking. I have come to realize he gets a kick out of us getting upset with him and he starts to tease ortaunt us by doing the same act over and over. I have started to use a little bit of pshycology on him I let him try things out so he can get it out of his system, as long as it does not harm him. I hold his hands when he starts to hit and I say not nice or give him a hug or kiss in stead. I try not to get angry but its hard. I spank his hand if he does something that can really hurt him or his sibilings. Just remember he is learning is surroundings and exploring.

    Answer by genna71 at 7:17 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

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