Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

why does my boyfriend treat me like this?

my boyfriend treats me like i don't exist.I am 6 months prego and like he doesn't care about me having to go through what WE both created.I try to talk to him about it and he just blows me off.He says really mean things to me knowing that I will cry and I feel like he does it just to get me upset.Last night I caught him watching porn and when i walked in he didn't care to stop.He doesn't show me the attention like he used to and when we go out I always catch him staring at other women and he will say mean things like "I remember when you USED to be that small and you used to wear stuff like that". I am afraid that he will treat me like this when our baby is born and soon we will be breaking up but I don't want to think about this and I want to stay together so my child will have a mom and dad but I will not lose my dignity behind this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Dec. 27, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (25)
  • cause most men are asses hunny
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Sounds like your BF isn't mature enough to handle bringing a child into this world. If his concerns are about the way that you look, than he defiantly has his priorities wrong.

    Don't stay with him because of your baby or you may be miserable forever. Find some other people that you can hang around, who will support you and take your mind off of him while he's busy watching porn.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • The writing is on the wall from what you describe. It would appear that he is feeling trapped and doesn't realize (or didn't realize) the consequences of the decision to bring a human being into the world. It would probably be wise of you to make plans for your own life and that of your child. Make sure you have job training and a place to live, and so forth. A bank account in your own name.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:52 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I dont know about everyone else...but to me it seems as if he is scared (and an ass). But most men dont know how to handle their feelings so the vent. My huby was like this also, but once our daughter was born he never acted that way again...And I have never lost the baby weight, and he doesnt even care
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 1:57 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I heard a MAN say this. If a man only cares about a womans looks then he doesn't really love her. A man who loves his wife no matter how she looks before/during/after pregnancy will see past that and love her body no matter what it looks like.

    It sounds like he is more concerned with having a little hottie on his arm more than anything and he is obviously un aware that you will not look like a freaking barbie during pregnanct. Some men think your suppose to look perfect no matter what. They get the wrong illusion for a woman to look like something she is not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Well I think that you should be a woman and grow up.Dnt do it for you dnt do it for your child do it for the both of you.I am not trying to bash any one. I think that your bf is a complete ass hole and sometimes us as women we want to believe that we could change our men and think that ours are different but sometimes ours or just the same.I really think that you should leave him alone and he will soon see what he has lost.I think if he treats you like this while your pregnant he will most def treat you like this when the baby comes if not like this maybe even worse.think you will be better off with out him and there are lots of woman who take care of their child with out the father around who says there wont be any one else who comes in your life to help you fill that gap?? Just focus on you and your baby and take one day at a time.. congrats and stay strong
    pregnproud88

    Answer by pregnproud88 at 2:07 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Holy Crap...He treats you like that because he is an a$$hole!!!!! Dont put up with it. Dont give him the satisfaction of letting him know your crying, apparently that is what he is trying to accomplish. And dont let him get away with treating you like that. If he thinks it's ok now and you keep letting it slide he will think it's fine as long as you let it happen. ANd the last thing you want you child to be around and grow up around is a man who disrespects their mother!!!! Plus when you have this baby you arent gonna go right back down to your regular size you may not ever get to your pre-pregnancy size thats just a sacrifice you make when you bring a life into this world and he is gonna have to learn that.
    I wish he was as caring and loving towards you as so many other men are to their pregnant SO. Im greatful for my husband thinking Im beautiful while pregnant even though i fell like a blob.
    ReneeLRS

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 2:09 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I think this is tricky but from a psychological perspective, he knows he has you. You are knocked up with his child so he doesn't really have to try anymore. Maybe you getting knocked up without much of a commitment from him also decreased the amount of respect he had for you (only speculation there). Right now he is the one with the power. To take it back, I would ignore him and do not let anything he says or does bother you, or don't let on that it does. If you continue on this needy path it will only increase how desperate and unattractive you look to him. You need to give off the impression that you don't need him. That you are prepared to walk away at any time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • was in the same situation, is he abusive? Verbal hurts just the same as being hit, To me verbal is worse.I didn't read the warning signs, We were together 8 yrs engaged to be married and i miscarried twice due to stress and yelling and screaming. He was a prince up until he put the ring on my finger and i became his property.I did everything to apease him loosing all my friends and family. It's not good for the baby if he treats you like this. He has insecurites of his own he needs to deal with. when all was said and done he wanted me back, i asked him why did he treat me the way he did. He said cause he thought I would leave him. I am a strong independent woman he tried to take that away from me. We all remember the good times it's really hard but you have to do what's right for you and your health. I swore i would never be in a realtionship like that, but i was. It's not your fault.
    nasibaby

    Answer by nasibaby at 2:38 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • 3 yrs later i met someone fell in love and am truly happy engaged to be married and expecting a baby boy.
    nasibaby

    Answer by nasibaby at 2:39 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.