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If you thought your 16 year old son had consensual sex with another 16 year old girl, is it right to report it to the authorities?

I feel totally confused on what to do -- I don't want my son to be marked as a "sexual predator" or something for something he and his gf have or may have done. But how else do you get it through to them of the hazards of having their "fun time" as they say. I know its wrong and I need to stop it NOW, but how?

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Asked by Squirrel1001 at 2:16 PM on Dec. 27, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (18)
  • consensual sex between 2 minors is not anything that needs to be reported. now if one of them were not a minor or if it was not consensual, then you would report it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • The age of consent is 16 which means you cannot report it. All you can do is give him condoms and hope he uses them.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:18 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • IMO no, they're 16 and it was consensual. Give them advice on birth control?

    Answer by tripletmomtobe at 2:21 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Apparently you need to have "the talk" with your son and your son's gf's parents need to have "the talk" with her. Just make sure that your son knows to wear a condom every time if he is going to continue to have sex. Really at this point all you can do it make sure he makes informed decisions on sex. As for the gf, maybe tell her parents so that they can decide how to handle her. Maybe get her on BC and teach her about safe sex. If both are still wanting to have sex, they need to be responsible...other wise they may end up with a STD or baby...something that I am sure neither is ready for.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Also, make it to where they cannot have sex in your home. If you don't condone it, don't allow it. If they have no where to go, then they most likely will not do it. Hopefully. I've heard of parents who say, "Oh well, they're doing it, it may as well be here then." I do NOT agree with that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I agree with all the pp's, but you also have to realize teenagers will do what they want no matter what their parents say! I would suggest making sure he is VERY educated in safe sex, and what can happen should he choose to not be safe. Of course stressing that abstinence is best and the only thing that can keep him completely safe.... But just remember teenagers think they know best and will ultimately do what they want and you dont want to push him away!

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 2:42 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Teens need something to do with their time so they won't end up doing something like this. Does he have any afterschool activities? Maybe a part time job? If they don't have anything constructive to do, they will get around to having sex. Also, I wouldn't let them be alone. There is no reason for teens of the opposite sex to be alone with each other. If they want to go out, that's fine, but they need to go out in groups. Or send a sibling with them. Hope this helps!

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 3:19 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • If its consensual then there is nothing to report. This is your own son, right? Then the right thing to do is sit down with him and have a talk about being sexually active. Make sure he is aware of the consequences of his actions. It takes two to tangle,,,I would just talk about him about using condoms at all times, and if it is really bothering you, than talk to him about why is bothers you. If you think he is too young to be sex. active, then just talk to him. If your son is in a steady relationship than that is perfectly normal for kids that age to want to be sex. active. If he is going around, having casual sex. than that is another matter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Uh, no. Don't even think about bringing in authorities on this one. They are two minors. If everybody reported a kid having sex with a kid, the police wouldn't have time to find real sex predators.

    You can ban that girl from your house, you can forbid him to go see her elsewhere.

    Now, on the practical side. Talk to him about protection. STDs are way way too common. There are also STDs he can get that will be with him for life (herpes) or shorten/end his life AIDS, Hepatitis.

    What if some girl knocks on your door to present you with a grandchild? You would be stuck with her in your life the rest of your life. Your boy could be slapped with high school in hand and a paternity suit/child support.

    A box of prophylactics is cheap insurance. Nobody having sex is planning to stop.

    Answer by LeftBrainy at 6:32 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • The reality is, at least from my point of view, you cannot control their thoughts, feelings, (and yes even) behaviors. You can certainly take parental steps to minimize his opportunities, talk to him about your wishes and hopes for him, your take on sex and your values. But it would only be minimizing the opportunities. Not eliminating them. If this were me I would be talking to my child about my expectations on his behavior and sex. I would also give him information and the proper protection to be safe and reduce chances of contracting an STD or reducing chances of pregnancy. I'm more of a realist. Minimize, educate, and access to good health care. But again, this is just me. Oh, and in my area you can not be arrested or even have a complaint made on a teen when it is consensual and they are the same age. Law enforcement considers it a waste of time. Actually, they consider it a parenting issue.


    Answer by frogdawg at 11:21 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

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