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What would you do?

My boyfriend was married for 12 years. 2 years ago, she up and left him for someone else. She is still with that other person, they live together. However, when he goes to pick up his kids and take them out, she wants to go too. And he wanted them to stay the night with him on Christmas Eve. First, she said no. The next day she called and said she changed her mind, that she would let the kids stay the night with him, if she could stay too. Of course he told her no. And she didn't let him have the kids overnight. But why is she wanting to spend the night in his house? Why does she have to come with him when he takes his kids out? It seems to me that she is after him, but she is still with her boyfriend. He has told her many times that he does not want her, that he is not interested, but apparently she isn't getting it. The only reason I haven't said or done anything yet is because I don't want to cause more problems for him.

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chavela_carlita

Asked by chavela_carlita at 3:03 PM on Dec. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Level 12 (887 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • It sounds to me like she might not trust him with the kids. I know my DH isn't very responsible and when he takes the kids to the store I worry until her gets back, although everything is always fine. I don't let him go alone with them much, just for my own peace of mind. Perhaps this is her trouble. Maybe if you did bring it up and ask her if she doesn't trust him with the children and then maybe you could tell her you'd be there to help him with the children! That's where I'd start.

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 3:11 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • wow to me it sounds like she still wants to be with him and can't get over the fact he has someone else now and is happy i would tell him how you feel and it is bs that he can't have the kids to himself
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 3:11 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • It could be either one. Has she called or text him just to talk to him? Or has wanted to go with him somewhere without the kids?
    If not sounds like she just doesnt trust him alone with the kids.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 3:16 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Ummmm...They used to be a family and she's trying to give her kids some family-type time? Because no matter who she or he is currently shtupping, they made those kids together, and spending time with them together IS COOL, okay? It's cool. So what would I do? Not a single thing but be supportive.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 4:42 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Wow, thats a little outragous. umm..It seems to me that perhaps she wants him back. Definetly.
    Why else what she wanna go with? Totally sounds like she's selfcentred by not letting the kids see there own dad for her own deeds. I know if someone was doing that to my boyfriend, I'd be concerned. I don't see any other reason she'd wanna go. lol. What would she tell her boyfriend? That shes going to spend the night at her kids dads house? Sorry, she just sounds like an airhead.
    CandieGirl09

    Answer by CandieGirl09 at 8:27 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • It's not that she doesn't trust him with the kids. He is the best father out there. He loves them, but she's pulling this bullsh** so that if he doesn't let her come over, then she won't let the kids stay, either. I don't care that she goes with them when he takes the kids out. But this last about wanting to spend the night at his house, and because he told her no, she didn't let him have the kids either. That is pure bullsh**. He gives her like, 1,000 a month in child support - even though he doesn't have an order to pay, and even though that's way more than the courts would order him to pay. She is just being a bitch. I trust him, because I know what we have is strong. He would never do anything to ruin what we have. I just can't stand it that she's after him. It makes me feel like I have competition. Or something.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 1:50 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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