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Are moms who don't smoke better then moms who do?

So another person posted asking why so many people who BF seem to be so harsh on people who don't. And it go me thinking if so many (NOT ALL) moms think they are so much better because they BF does that mean that they think moms who smoke are worse to... because smoking is not healthy for your child... I mean lets get deep here. Children whos parents smoke are more likely to smoke themselves. And organic food? Thats healthier then other foods by far. Oh and carseats till 80 pounds and rear facing till a year old... thats healthier... and no pets around the baby thats healthier to. SSSSOOOO I could keep going but you get the point... there are a lot of things that are healthier so why bash on formula moms? (I understand the opinions... just not the bashing, I'm a better mom stuff)


Asked by dtetz at 8:05 PM on Dec. 27, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (15)
  • Personally I think that it is sad that some moms feel the need to bash other moms just because they do not parent the same way. I am glad that each person parents differently, the freedom to it is just one of the many things that make this country great. Can you image how horrible it would be if every family had to parent the same way? As far as I am concerned the only important thing is that the children are happy, healthy, safe, and loved. Don't sweat the small stuff. How about someone start a post where moms compliment other moms. All this bashing and throwing stones is ridiculous, don't you get enough of that from men? JMO

    Answer by vbongard at 8:28 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • not a "better" mom, just a healthier one.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 8:07 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Look at the WHOLE picture .
    Smoking doesn't necessarily make a person a bad parent . It all depends on the entire situation . Many moms smoke , some do it in the house , some only outside , some smoke and breastfeed, some smoke while breastfeeding , all differeing levels of poor parenting and lifestyle choices .
    I don't see how formula / breastfeeding correlates to smoking mothers ... formula is safe and healthy , smoking not so much .

    Answer by Meshell7 at 8:08 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • i agree some mom's BF and think they are mother of the year yeah ok whatever I bottle fed my kids worked 50 hours a week and still bonded with them after work and guess what they are JUST FINE hardly a cold ever some moms just like to say well I did this and you didnt just to make them self's fell better ...its sad


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I was a smoker but never while I was preganant or breastfeeding. It is not a matter of if you are a better mom or not by any means. It is called selfishness. I know this is offending but your child does not have a choice and cannot tell you they do not want nicotine. This along with everything you listed above, it is the parents choices not the child. With animals, smoking, car seats...etc...
    These are choices we as a parent make and it is our children that have no choice. I am trying to be a better parent every day but there is no perfect parent anywhere.

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 8:12 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I think a good parent who is someone who puts their child's needs first before anything else - including their addictions.

    I wouldn't want my son to smoke nor would I want him to see his mother tangled up in an addiction so if I smoked I would quit. Not to mention the smoke stays on you and your clothes and this can affect your child as well, even if you smoke outside.

    We arent perfect but we should strive to be - I think thats what makes a good parent.

    Lots of people don't and that is evident by reading a lot of peoples posts on here.

    Formula feeding isnt striving to do the best by your child at all....(IMO which is why I would never give my son it)

    Smoking isnt striving to be a good role model....(IMO which is why I wouldnt smoke.)

    Answer by keyaziz at 8:14 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Any mother who doesn't make sure that the decisions they make are in the best interests of their child isnt a good parent imo.

    We can all have differing views on these matters and all still be good parents but when i see responses like - i dont care or im doing it this way because it suits ME (nevermind the child) then that shows you what type of parent a person is...not a good one.

    Answer by keyaziz at 8:14 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Having healthier behaviors doesn't make one a better person although some would have you believe it.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 8:14 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • wow, that's a pretty loaded question you got there. I think basically what you're asking is about parenting choices. It's really no one else's business how someone parents their children, unless that child is in serious danger from some sort of parenting, like abuse or something.

    I, however, do feel very strongly about carseat safety. But all I can do is give someone the info, I can't make them take my advice.

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 8:17 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I personally wish NOBODY in the whole world smoked. I've had 2 family members dies due to smoking. My parents smoked but I did NOT grow up to be a smoker. Never even tried it. I can bet you smoking kills more people then formula does.
    I know someone who breastfeeds (one is the same age as my child, 2 yrs old & she still BF him) She serves only organic, fresh foods to them. Her kids are chronically ill with allergies or colds all the time. One has Asperbergers (she also does not vacinate so huh where did an ASD come from?). I guess being "perfect' doesnt always pay.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Dec. 27, 2008