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how do you deal with the emotional lonelyness?

It is so hard for me , my soon to be ex- has everything he wants now. His girlfriend left her husband and got her own place, he bought a house and gets to see my son when ever he wants and still blames me for everything when he was the cheater.

I feel so alone.It just hurts so much

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somebodiesmom

Asked by somebodiesmom at 8:29 PM on Dec. 27, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • I am sending u hugs...nothing I can say will make u feel better. I am heartbroken right now tto and just know u r not alone.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 8:34 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • It is hard, but you have to find yourself again instead of being codependent like we are when we are married and taking care of a family. Good luck, and yeah that sucks.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 8:34 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Girl, listen to me. You stand up, shake yourself off, and forget that a-hole. You are never to think bad of yourself because he turned out to be a freak. You are a free woman. Free to make your own life. Wipe that slate clean and start afresh. Get out, get going. Go get your hair done, your nails, make yourself free great and never look back. Forget that jerk and go find what you want in life!
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 8:42 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Don't be afraid to go see a counselor or therapist if you need one on one help.

    But do understand that YOU are not in the wrong. And quite frankly, you got the better end of the deal. The girlfriend? She got a known liar and cheater. Good luck to her, she'll need it. And when he dumps her for a newer model, the two of you can commiserate on what a crappy guy he is.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:57 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I know how you feel. I was there once, 12 yrs ago. I can remember the exact date Oct. 29th, 1996. When I found out that my husband of almost 3 yrs was cheating on me, and decided to stay with her. I chose to leave with my 2 months old son. There were so many lonely night, alone in my new apart. I used to cry myself to sleep at night, cry to Tony Braxton Unbreal My Heart, etc. I had moments of weakeness in which I fell back in his arms, but it was never the same. I dated a few men, but never found what I was looking for. Guess what, as the saying goes, "time heals ALL wounds", this too should pass. Give yourself time. Focus on you and your son. Feel free to e mail me, I understand how empty & saddened you must be feeling. Take Care.
    Yve538

    Answer by Yve538 at 11:23 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I have a lot of stories, I found out years later the meaning of "what goes around, comes around" . Look ahead, keep your head up!
    Yve538

    Answer by Yve538 at 11:25 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Keep ur chin up dont let him get you down.If not already.... take him in for child support ;o)

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • My fiance just broke up with me. We've been together for almost 10 years. I'm dying too. I lost my daughter 21 months ago--this honestly makes me want to die--the pain is that unbearable. Do you have girlfriends you can vent to and that will make you feel better?
    orangeorbie

    Answer by orangeorbie at 12:29 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I totally know where you're at. I am alone except for my babies and my exhusband has everything and blames me. When he was the cheater. Emotional loneliness. . . being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely. You don't have to have other people around. I think there are alot of people who are alone. it's better to be alone than to wish you were - ever heard that one? it's not your fault. you have been through alot. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself with kindness. he is a jerk. . have hope. believe me - he's not thinking about you, so when you catch yourself being sad over him, stop. He doesn't deserve you. don't call him either. you did the best you could.
    Lucky1963

    Answer by Lucky1963 at 1:51 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Aww, you so deserve a hug!
    You are not alone. You have your son and family.
    When you stop trying to find love, it finds you.
    So, I think you should just try to ignore the fact that your ex is a total jerk
    and live life to the fullest because love takes patience and it'll find its way to you.
    I know for a fact that you will find another, you just gotta wait it out. I know its tempting
    but it's how I moved on from my own cheating ex to my loveable boyfriend I have now.
    XOXOXOXOXOXOX
    Lots of Loves cause I know exacty how you feel!
    CandieGirl09

    Answer by CandieGirl09 at 8:10 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

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