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Do I leave?

SO and I have been togeher for 2 yrs, expectng a baby in may, and I am at my wits ends. He is not a "fair fighter", meaning I canno thave any kind of discussion w/him(most times) w/out him turning into a hateful spiteful child. I feel like I am dealing w/a child.When we met, he was trying to change that stuff. I can't tell if I am in love with the man I know he "can" be(I have seen it)or if I am denying the man he actually is?I feel so devastated, I do love him but honestly, I am a great g/f and he's a fool if he lets me walk away. Please no bashing, I cannot take any more insults today. ty ladies.

 
Bearsjen

Asked by Bearsjen at 8:46 PM on Dec. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I think you already know the answer.

    Let me ask you what I always ask: Would you want your own daughter in this sort of situation? Then why accept it for yourself?
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:32 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Girl, what you are seeing now is the true man he is. Men only let you see what they want you to see if the beginning. In the beginning of a relationship, you see a man with blind eyes. If you are not happy with him now, trust me, it won't get any better. Sorry.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 8:50 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • It sounds like you already know the answer. You said yourself, you are a great gf and he's a fool to let you walk away.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:50 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • wow honey. i know what you mean. men are ass holes. and mine is the same way. we get into an argument and especially if he knows he is wrong he calls names and throws tantrums, it is ridiculous. i am sorry i have no advice for you but to talk to him and if he doesn't want to change i can only tell you it will probably get worse. but i am here for you.
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:51 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • also girl you have to remember what you are already going through. message me if you want to talk
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:53 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • I can totally understand what you are saying, and all I can say is to give it a little time. At least for me when I was pregnant I took everything worse than what I would when I was not pregnant. Talk to him over chocolate or something and give it some time. Your out look may change once you have the baby, well about 2 months after the baby since that is usually how long it takes for your hormones to return to normal.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 8:56 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Women see mens fauts and mistakingly think they can 'change' them. You cannot, at least not for long. What you see is what you get. If you have issues with something now it will be magnified tremendously after marriage.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:00 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • Sometimes people don't always see how others perceive them. Maybe you should really sit down and give him an ultimatum. It can be hard enough being a mother, let alone a single mother. And I too took everything too personally when I was pregnant. And my husband was worse than I was with his hormones! lol. Maybe you should wait and see if things change after the baby is born. Everyone says that men will not change. But they will if they see that they will lose something they really hold dear if they don't change. Trust me, my man has done A LOT of changing for the better to keep my daughter and I around. Well...we both have done a lot of changing...!
    mlinton87

    Answer by mlinton87 at 9:14 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

  • mlinton87, unfortunately, I must disagree with you. OP, I was with my ex almost 14 years and three children. I left him because he became abusive. I kept thinking he would change too, and he did...for the worse. He's a pathological liar who throws a fit when shown proof of his lies and then wonders why he can't stay in a relationship! But that's just the tip of the iceberg. However, I agree that your hormones may be coloring your perception at this point, and it may be wise to wait til after the baby is born to make decisions of that magnitude.

    Good luck!
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 10:00 PM on Dec. 27, 2008

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