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do i have to like my SO's friends?

tonight my SO was supposed to come get me after going to the movies with his friends. i don't like them. he refused to drop them off at home before coming to get me, and i told him there wouldn't really be enough room in the car (which is mine, he drives it though) for all of our daughter's things, plus two extra people. he got mad at me, and started saying i was being a bitch, etc. one friend is a thief and gives me the creeps, and another is a girl who is freakin' in love with my boyfriend, and is nice to my face but talks crap about me behind my back, like how i keep my SO from hanging out with her, etc. he ditched going to the zoo earlier today to see the lights with me to go to the movies with them. was it really so hard to take them back to his house to get their cars, or should i have just sucked it up and packed all my stuff in the car and went?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • If you go along with them, and try to make nice, they won't say anything bad about you (at least while your their) and it will make your man happy. I was forced to befriend a girl who had the hots for my husband (who is his X's sister, and who totally disrespected me on more then one occasion) so I know how you feel. Luckily we moved away so he only talks to her on the phone every now and then.... I know how hard it can be, you dont have to like them, just tolerate them?

    Answer by xxprittykittyxx at 12:51 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I think you were being perfectly reasonable. He should be respectful of your feelings and not expect you to be around people you don't like, especially in your own vehicle. Now, if he already had plans with you, and then he changed them to go hang out with them, I'd be pretty upset about that as well. He should not be choosing his friends over spending time with you and his child. I'm not saying he should never have time with his friends, but his family should always come first.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 12:51 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • You sound so much more mature than your SO! Sorry. He needs to respect your wishes and your car. Furthermore, he really should not be driving his friends around in YOUR car. Doesn't he have a car? If he doesn't, he needs to get one! That way you won't have this transportation problem. If that's all you can afford together, then the car needs to stay with you and the baby. Sorry, I went off topic. I just don't want to see you being taken advantage of. Back to your question... stand your ground, you can squeeze in with those creeps if it was necessary, but tell your SO you aren't going to tolerate that crap. I don't blame you for not liking his friends, I wouldn't either. And no, you shouldn't be expected to like them. You were right on that point and not being a bitch. Stay strong.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:23 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • You need to reconsider being with a person who is bent on spending time with people who are a bad infuence. He called you a bitch, ditched you for them and hangs with a woman who is wanting him from you. People usually hang with "friends" because they are like them. It is a reflection of being with someone who really isn't like you or good for you. I think the real issue is - Do you really want to be with him or do you want to find someone who would naturally go with you to see the lights and have friends who you enjoy being with. Eventually, he will have to chose them or you and it's not a pretty situation. Been there, done that. I know where you are coming from !

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:14 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

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