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Are hormones making me sensitive, or is something really wrong?

Discovered my hubby has a couple of online profiles, one on a generic site with little info and the only photo is one from our wedding with the caption "null." The other is on a hookup website (has sex in the title) where he describes himself as having a large sexual appetite, married, and looking for women for 1 on 1 dating. He has no friends or sent messages on either site, and they both seem loosely affiliated with porn sites. Is he looking for women to cheat with? Could they have just been set up so he could view webcams from other members(not that this is much better in my eyes, but at least it's not the same as looking for flesh and blood hook ups.) I'm so confused; we've been married for a few years and 4 months pregnant with our first. I never thought he would cheat. Help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I hate to say this, but if your husband has a profile on a hook up website, he has at least considered finding someone to cheat on you with. Is it possible that he could have deleted all the messages before you could view them? You should confront him about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • asking for 1 on 1 dating usually does mean flesh and blood cheating. some ppl put their real email addy in their profile. He could be finding what he wants that way without writing them inside the site. He might have a free email account you don't know about so he can write these women if they give him their email address within their profile. I can't say he's cheating but it doesn't look good especially when he blatantly tells in his profile that is what he wants. (sorry)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • No, your sensitivity to THIS has nothing to do with hormones. I would be totally livid! You should ask him about it. You might be right about him just having a profile on there so he can utilize the site, without really chatting, but STILL him stating that he is married with a big sexual appetite and looking for 1 on 1 dating is a major red flag! I would confront him on it and keep a very close eye. Viewing others webcams is another BIG red flag. That's doesn't sound good at all. If he is not cheating, he's going down the same roads so it may only be a matter of time.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:34 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Sweetheart, I've always believed that honesty is the best policy; the truth may be hard to hear, but at least you will know what you're dealing with. Try to talk with your husband WITHOUT A CONFRONTION-FILLED ATTITUDE... To accomplish that takes lots of inner strength, courage and mountains of trust in God's guidance. Try to help him find the words he needs to express his thoughts and feelings directly to you. It won't be easy that's for sure; but maybe, just maybe you both will be able to communicate on a deeper level...That's the key to a strong, loving truth, that's what he is looking for... he's just looking too far away rather than seeing the TRUE TREASURE that he married! YOU!!

    Answer by banghel at 1:37 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Your not being too sensitive and it's not you. Any woman would be hurt about this. You really need to give him an ultimatum at this point. Tell him he can have you and be faithful or you'll leave him and he can do as he pleases and engage in meeting strangers online or in person for sex.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Um, usually if people have 'hook up' sites profiled. Perhaps it's HIS kind of porn?
    Seriously, I've heard this happen to alot of people. Of course its doubtful and pretty damn low if you ask me, but if I was a married guy with a pregnant girlfriend..Im pretty sure it might be just porn to him. Even though its pretty harsh you being pregnant and all. If he going to cheat in this kind of way, perhaps he's being selfish? umm... Talk to him about it. It may not be as big as it seems. He'll tell you whats up. Try not to worry hun, it's bad for the baby. Good Luck. <333

    Answer by CandieGirl09 at 7:58 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • He should not have either account. I'd be worried. Did you talk to him yet? What did he say? Anyone, and I mean anyone, is capable of cheating. It is a choice. You need to find out what is going on and go from there. I hope he was just being curious and not actually cheating.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:10 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • If it were me, I would find a counselor immediately to keep me grounded in reality. Then, I would confront my husband. He is likely to deny and/or minimize what this is about. It is about him initiating relationships with other women no matter how you slice it. I am sorry to be blunt but I know you already understand this and just need your own perception validated. Men are men so he may just need to be reeled in. I caught my husband once doing something I felt threatened by so I let him know that I am the one to come to for sex, nobody else. I made a decision to be a good lover and to be sensitive to his needs.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:00 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

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