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Is this something that I should address with a social worker or just think of it as a nice gesture?

I was in a public restroom with my four year old autistic step son.

We shared a tiny little stall because all of the others were taken. I went pee and when I was done he grabbed toilet paper and was ready to wipe me. He actually started reaching down there. Of course I stopped him and told him that I can wipe myself.

This is unusual to me... and makes me wonder. Could this be a sign of him wiping a female before, something worse? Or just trying to be nice?

I am at a loss with this one.


Asked by girlneffy at 2:52 AM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (27 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • All of mine tried to help me wipe, because I always tried to help them. I wouldn't worry about it unless you see other signs. He is probably just trying to help you the way you or others have helped him.

    Answer by Jazak at 2:57 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I think it's him just doing for you what everyone else did/does for him. my 2 1/2 year old tries that sometimes. don't over think it

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • do you share a stall with him often? he may just notice you clean yourself there, and knows its something you do when in a stall and trying to be nice. i dont think its anything major or more than that though...

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 2:59 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I agree with above, he's probably just trying to help you the way other have helped him.

    Answer by xxprittykittyxx at 2:59 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I imagine it's pretty common for little kids to want to help their parent wipe, since their parent helps them wipe. Usually by 4 years they'll understand the privacy thing better, but since this child is autistic, I'd tend to think of it like a 3 year old doing it. No big deal, just time to start teaching about privacy and boundaries.

    Answer by at 3:01 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I agree with My 3 year old will very often hand me toilet paper and then flush. Sometimes he asks if he needs to "clean my bottom" and I just say no, that mommies and daddies can clean their own bottoms and someday (hopefully soon) he will be cleaning his own bottom too.

    Answer by JMmama at 3:36 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I agree. It's just him wanting to help you wipe yourself because when he was younger you or the peson who took care of him most did that for him...And I hate that anyone with autism gets labeled or what not a bad kid! They can't help it..I know because i have Pervasive Developmental Disorder...And Autism is one of the disorders in that region...But it's not in a particular group..PDD(see above for wording)....has diferent disorders all together! My son who lives with grandma from dad's side has corpus it's almost like autism..He turns 4yrs old in February. And I found out the day she was born that my now 6 moths old daughter has it too. Sorry to go to a different disorder though...

    Answer by babylover08417 at 6:33 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • When my 4 year old ASD son was going through potty training, we used the PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System), to SHOW him the steps to going potty, and we would talk to him and allow him to see what we did. That's how ASD children watching and copying. They are also just as capable of learning what NOT to do--it just takes more repetition and patience.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:48 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • He is just mimicking what he sees you do. My 2 year old does this. I would not freak out. It is totally wonderful to be aware of what could happen out in this world, but I highly doubt his actions were from something inappropriate occurring at an earlier date.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 10:06 AM on Dec. 28, 2008