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Gift giving and receiving etiquette.....??

Ok, my niece has a 3 month old, its her first child. We gave her a very nice gift at her shower, and here it is 5 months later, and baby is born, no thank you card. Present day... Christmas just past. I have 3 children on one small income but we managed to get her 3 gifts from each of our children. she gave them nothing. made a spectacle of what we gave her though. My sister should have stepped up and told her to at least get a dollar store toy for my kids so they didn't feel bad they didn't get anything from their new baby cousin. How do you handle this? ignore it or make a side comment about gift giving?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:55 AM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Holidays

Answers (8)
  • i think that you should ignore it. she doesnt HAVE to give gifts...and she just had a baby she probably uses her money for the baby.

    i couldnt get much for people either and some people ididnt get anything but they understood because im going to have a baby soon, times are hard, and its not JUST about gifts.

    just ignore it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I would ignore and not expect anything. Gift giving is not about receiving for each time you give. It's about the pleasure you receive in the giving.

    As far as thank you cards's sad to say that that custom has gone out the window unless children are brought up properly. I still send handwritten thank you cards for gifts or thoughtfulness. I have taught my children the same, but for some reason my 20 year old thinks its a waste of time.

    Try to give without expectations and you will feel a lot better. :)

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 7:26 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Its REALLY hard to not be upset when we are raising 3 children on 11.00 an hour and they both work full time. she doesn't pay a sitter (my sister keeps her grandchild) and they don't pay for formula or even diapers. I would venture to say she hasn't put out one penny for this child since she got pregnant except for putting a new floor in the nursery and that was almost a year ago. anyway, I know I'm being petty but at least a verbal thank you would suffice. I've given her baby gear galore and not a one thank you has popped out of her greedy little mouth. I gave to the baby because she is my great niece and her first Christmas but I may not even give my niece a card next year......

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • OP--I understand where you are coming from, far too many teenagers and 20-30 somethings are clueless when it comes to social etiquette, and I firmly believe it is due to their upbringing.

    Class is NOT a money thing, it is simply a way of carrying yourself! You have to be conscientious about how you are perceived by others, and WANT to project a respectful image--you have to step outside of yourself for a moment to do this. It's hard to do this if you are emotionally stunted--that is you've never had to do for yourself & have had everything handed to you.

    I've known women who don't have two dimes to rub together, but are among the classiest women I've known because they always smile, stand tall, and are pleasant to be around.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:27 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • cont.

    I would stop being so the least you can or are expected to do, and keep your distance. Save your time, money and effort for those who deserve and appreciate the things you do for them--like YOUR family!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:29 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I would ignore it and not buy anything for her again. You aren't obligated to do so.

    As for thank you cards, that's just rude. You don't have to be brought up to know what is right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I wouldn't give any more if I expected something in return. In the case of Christmas gifts, the children should understand that the baby isn't old enough to give gifts this Christmas and the mommies have to talk about gift exchange in the future. I always communicate about the gift giving "rules" ahead of time. It gets confusing and every one doesn't think the same way about it.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • She is wrong in not being grateful, saying thank you or sending a card. But it's not fair to only give gifts because you expect something in return. Or to have your children do so. If it makes you feel good to buy things for the baby, then I would continue to do so. If it doesn't, then don't. Simple as that. But yes, she is being very rude!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

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