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cheating... i feel bad but I am in love with him

Ok, I have been married for 5 years. I have a almost 6 year old. My husband and I never have sex NEVER! My daughters real father came over the other day and we ended up having sex. My daughter wasnt home at the time. We talked and we both want to be together and be a family but his wife (who has also been cheating on him) puts guilt trips on him like its his fault she cheats. I love him so much, and the thing is we would have ended up together years ago if I would have known the right due date for my daughters birth. Just to be on the safe side we are doing a paternity test in a few weeks. I do love my husband but not how I love my daughters father. We both made mistakes by marrying the wrong people but I dont want to be pushy and tell him u have to leave your wife NOW or I dont want to be a family. We even talked about more children, his wife wont have kids & he wants more What should I do


Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • either way it seems you are unhappy with your marriage and it should probably end

    Answer by learae at 1:29 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Get a divorce and stop f***ing married men.

    Answer by runawaybunny at 9:59 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Follow your heart and trust your gut. Think about what's best for you and your daughter in the long run. That's the only advice I have.

    Answer by sbastille at 10:00 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Get pregnant. That is almost a sure way to break up both marraiges.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • You should get the paternity test if you must but it sounds to me like this guy is looking for some booty! Sorry, he has given you quite the sob story huh? Do you think his wife is the only one to blame? Poor boy, now he has to cheat with you because she treats him so badly? DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH HIM. If you are married, especially if you love your husband, I think it is a mistake to cheat on him. Tomorrow is a new day and you need to re-up for your current marriage and work on it. This man took advantage of you and screwed your husband but good. Run!

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:10 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • First of all, do you REALLY know that your potential daughters father's wife is cheating on him? I mean he just cheated on her with YOU - what do you think he will do to you later on if you leave your DH? And most married men never leave their wives for their girlfriends. Get the paternity test (although its seems you already know who the father is - does your husband know this?) and also get yourself and your DH into counseling. And if he wont go, you go.
    Unfortunately, it sounds like your marriage is based on an issue that started before you got married. Good luck.

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 10:46 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • You left him once, he did something before, do you think he has really changed. I know I think about my ex sometimes, but I love the man I have now. he loves me unconditionally. My ex would start off ok but we would fall back into old patterns. We tried. I would try talking to your husband about the no sex. There has to be a reason, good or bad you need to find out, before you start getting more people involved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Once a cheater always a cheater.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 11:14 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • i agree once a cheater always a cheater. your hubby doesnt need a cheater as a wife! how could you do that to him? you have no respect for him. you should be honest to him and tell him how you feel and what you did!!! then he should be smart and leave.
    Karma is a b*tch you know

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • He is feeding you a line of crap a mile long. DO NOT believe anything he says to you. It was SEX, he was saying anything to get in your pants HON. He is a cheater and so are you now. Go about your life and don't look back. You will be no more happier with him than you are right. If you don't like your husband, you shouldn't have married him!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Dec. 28, 2008