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I feel like a bad mom...

My daughter is 7 months old. She is my first child. I am a single mother but we are living with my mom. The first 6 months of her life I was constantly playing with her. I go to school and work too, but when I was home, I was always so into playing with her. It seems that since a few weeks ago when I was sick - my mom had the baby for the majority of the time so I could nap and my mom would bring her to me when she needed to breastfeed, it seems that since then, I really dont want to play with her as much. I just want to be alone. I just want to take a nap and I dont think I am as nice to her or as good a parent and I hate that I dont want to spend so much time with her and that I am not interested in her playing anymore. Has this happened to anyone else ? How can snap out of whatever is going on and get more involved with her again ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (7)
  • You might just have a mild case of depression. Symptoms vary from person to person. I'd talk to the doctor if I were you and see what they think could be causing this. It might not be your fault at all. I'm sure it's tough being a single parent without a SO there to give you some time for yourself.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 12:30 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • even if you don't want to or feel like it try to get back in your old routine of what you did together. i hate bringing up depression but maybe when you were sick it developed more or something. if you can see a dr about it. good luck to you
    ps. i don't think you are a bad mom, you are trying and I give you all the credit in the world for this...

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I am not in your position as a single mom but I can tell you that when my mom comes to visit me, I am so grateful to have her here to help. She plays with the baby, feeds, changes etc. and I feel so free to be able to do what I want for those couple of days. I take naps, go to the store, whatever. After she is gone I feel like I haven't spent much time with my baby so I catch up a little and get back into our usual routine. What I'm trying to say is that having your mom around makes it so much easier to take breaks, naps, whatever because you know that your baby is being well taken care of. You're not a bad mom you are just tired from work and school and need a break sometimes. You might have a case of depression also.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • You're not a bad mom. You're an overwhelmed mom.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:55 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • You're not a bad mom luv. The fact that you're concerned about this shows that you're a good mom. A bad mom wouldn't care one way or the other.

    I agree with the others that it might be a mild depression. As someone who gets depressed often, I can tell you that it sucks. But it can be treated (both naturally and medically). I suggest talking with your doctor about your options.

    Even though you don't feel like doing anything doing nothing is the worst thing you can do. It makes the depression worse. Try and force yourself to get up and play with your daughter. Take a shower (this always helps me). Take your daughter for a walk if the weather permits. It takes a lot to do these things when you're depressed. But sometimes they can help greatly to ease the deperession, especially when it's mild.

    *hugs* and good luck hon!

    Answer by amethystrse at 1:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I think your becoming sick was your body's way of telling you just how exhausted and overwhelmed you were. Up until that point you were running on fumes, just trying to take in the enormity of the situation (single and being a new parent). Could be you are still exhausted. I would seek the advice of a mental health provider (since you are breastfeeding), and see if either talking things out with a trained therapist will help, or perhaps they can prescribe a safe medication to take while BF that will help you through this slump.

    I would also try and "schedule" play time with your child...small bursts and have your mother take your daughter when you're not with her. Take a walk, get some fresh air, and see how you feel afterwards.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:17 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • get off the internet and go play with her. you aren't going to find any good answers here, so instead of looking go read her a book. You'll get back into the swing of things once you DO IT

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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