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AMI OVER REACTING ABOUT MY HUBBY GOING OVER HIS MOMS EVERY WEEKEND?

MY HUBBY AND I HAVE BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS. I FEEL LIKE INSTEAD OF HIM STAYING HOME AND TRYING TO WORK THINGS OUT WITH ME, HE RUNS AWAY. HE RARELY WONTS TO TAKE THE KIDS AND HE NEVER ASKS ME IF I WONT TO JOIN HIM. THIS IS EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND. AM I RIGHT IN BEING UPSET OR AM I WRONG FOR NOT WONTING HIM TO GO OVER HIS MOMS HOUSE? KEEP IN MIND THAT THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN CLOSE AT ALL. BUT HIS STEP DAD IS THERE. HE SAYS HE SPENDS TIME THERE TO BE ALONE AND THINK. HELP ME,AM I RIGHT OR WRONG?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Yeah, it sounds like he is pretty immature. I think you should first stop fighting. You said that he goes there so he doesn't have to "work things out" with you. To me that means things are not peaceful at home. Not saying it's your fault, but don't give him a reason to run away.. 'cause you are right, it's way too easy for him to avoid everything by hanging out at mom's house. Talk to him about your feelings and ask him what he wants. Arguing about it will not help. He'll just retreat back to mommy again! Shame on his mom for letting him hang out there every weekend.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:45 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • sounds like he's being selfish and inconsiderate. i would say if it were helping be patient but it doesn't sound like it's doing anything but making things worse. just my opinion.good luck
    maemaesmom

    Answer by maemaesmom at 12:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • GL. My mil lives next door. Maybe he became a momma's boy. Watch out. Go over there. That is not right that your husband does that . Fix this.It can be corrected.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • start going wit him. its not fair that he wastes his weekends over there tell him how you feel and how un fair he is treating the kids too!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 12:48 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Do you know for sure that he goes there?? It sounds to me that he is a little immature.. A MAN doesn't run from his problems.. He takes care of them.. Problems just don't disappear.. You have to deal w/ them to solve them. I don't think you are being wrong for getting upset.. You have every right for what you are feeling.. IF his mother was any kind of mother she would send him back home to solve what was going on at home, instead of patting him on the head for running away.. JMO...
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 12:50 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • THANK YOU LADIES YOU ALL ARE THE BIGGEST HELP EVER. FIVE UP TO CAFE MOM
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I don't really want to say this but I am going to because this just sounds so familiar...

    When Ryan and I first got together, he was still seeing his ex-fiance (but I didn't know about it). When I found text messages on his phone from her, we started having troubles...

    I would go to school at night (for 3 hours), and he would "go to his mom's for dinner" but he was really going over to her house. Sometimes he wouldn't even be home when I got home from school...and I worked the graveyard shift, so when I got home I had to leave within an hour.

    When he started going to "his moms" at least 3 nights a week, I started calling HER house if I "had a question" for Ryan, since he gets terrible reception on his phone at her place. When she started realizing what was going on, she put a stop to it (the using her a scape goat to cheat).

    I hope this is not the case with you....but that is my story.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:10 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • i would say that maybe thats the only way he feels that he can vent. i think its better than him always going out to drink and hang out with his friends. he may feel overwhelmed and even the place where you would think he would hate to go the most it would be more relaxing than spending some time with the kids. it may seem sad but every one needs some kind of time away from the kids no matter how much you love them. it can be stressful, i know i personally would like to visit my parents that often alone. even though i know they would love to see the kid and i really dont get along with them so much it helps in releaving stress and just having some kind of time to myself and another thing is that i can get treated like the kid without having to deal with a kid
    lydiamama

    Answer by lydiamama at 1:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • i couldnt even read the whole thing because you keep saying "wont" instead of "want"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • He may find it overwhelming to be at home. His mother's may be a sanctuary. Yes he shouldn't be retreating to there, but he is. So you can combat this by making home a better place than his mother's. Greet him with a smile and a hug, treat him gently, no complaining or nagging (not that you are, of course.) Make his own home a haven instead of a place where he feels under pressure. Once you have him trained to prefer his own home, you can work on getting him to do other things that you'd like him to do. :)
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2008