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I need HELP NOW before i put my son up for adoption.

My son has autism and i can;t take anymore he banges his head all the time all day long. I need a Parent Aid who can handle some one with autism all the time 24 hours 7 day's a week. he is tare our family apart and Social services are crap.

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black32

Asked by black32 at 1:07 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (18)
  • I don't know what to say... I cannot imagine what u r going thru. Haave u googled local services in your area?go in under your county, definantly get some counseling before u decide what to do because no matter what this decision will change your life forever.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:11 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • How sad that you're giving him up! My daughter was diagnosed with autism and she banged her head so much that her doctor tried talking me into sedating her.

    We enrolled her in Early Intervention and things have improved so much in almost 2 years. She doesn't bang her head, she talks, she plays....they changed her diagnosis from autistic to developmentally delayed.

    It gets better, or at least easier. It'll only tear your family apart if you let it.

    No one is going to adopt an autistic child. If you give your son up he will forever be in the system...foster care and group homes. No family. No one to love him.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 1:16 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • thats messed up that u would do that.. he didnt choose to be like that. u made him now u owe it to him to take care of him for what he is.
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 1:33 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • "No one is going to adopt an autistic child. If you give your son up he will forever be in the system...foster care and group homes. No family. No one to love him."

    That is such BULL!!! How DARE you say such a thing!

    If the mother feels that putting him up for adoption is the best thing for him and for the family..then that is HER decision. There are people out there who will adopt special needs kids!

    Original poster....talk to your doctor. He will know where to direct you for help. Contact the school district's special education department...they will have resources for you. Contact a developmental center..probably at your Children's Hospital.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 1:34 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Also...I don't see anywhere that the original poster said she IS giving him up for adoption. She said she needs help BEFORE she does. In other words she is at the end of her rope and she is looking for somewhere to turn for help.

    When you walk a mile in her shoes...then you can be judgmental. Until then....shut your trap and learn how to actually read and comprehend.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 1:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I agree with amethystrse!

    BOTH of my sons are Autistic...now 7 and 5. Is this what I wanted or envisioned when I planned to have a family? Hell no! But they are mine, and I (and of course my husband), are so determined to give them the best life possible, and expect the same of them as any parent would expect of their neuotypical children--it'll just take more time and patience.

    Yes, there are days when I'm ready to pull my hair out, but it's not all the time. And when they finally succeeded at things, like potty training, speaking, writing, social skills, it's an AMAZING feeling! I wouldn't give my children up for the world!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • cont.

    You should also join some of the Autism support groups right here on CafeMom--they've been VERY helpful, and chances are there are a number of members in your city or state that can help you navigate through the maze of programs and benefits you and your son are entitled to!

    Don't give up! Your son's head-banging is his frustration at not being able to communicate effectively. Give him the tools/help he needs, and you'll start seeing dramatic improvements. Feel free to Private Message me if you have any questions! I live in PA.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • there r people out there who would adopt an autistic kid. so u really cant say no one would.

    How old is ur son? u have raised him this far and now u just want to stop? thats not fair to him at all. u say u need an aid 24/7 wtf for? U R HIS AID YOUR HIS MOTHER HE NEEDS YOU.. having an aid 24/7 is like letting someone else raise ur son w/o puttin him up. How can u say u need an aid all day every day? can u not take care of him for a lil while on ur own???? Put him in a type of school for autistic kids. That way u do get a little break from him but yet still have him!!!
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 1:42 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • It sounds like you needs lots of support from moms that are going through the same thing as you. Do lots of research, talk to the doctor (for your sanity and your son's) and see what they can do. Join some support groups and find some moms in your hometown that would be willing to help you out. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 1:43 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Hugs to you momma! I have a 14 y/o son who has autism, so I know where you are coming from and I totally understand your feelings right now. I have a friend in Baltimore whose may be able to help you. She is a member here on CM, too, so I will ask her to contact you, okay? She has two special needs children, the older of which is most likely on the autism spectrum (currently in evaluation) and she is an advocate in the school district and, I'm sure, will be a great resource & support to you. I also suggest that you join at least one of the autism parent groups here on CM or one of the parents of special needs children groups, b/c you'll get better info & networking through them. Hugs again!
    mom2aspclboy

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 2:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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