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Don't leave me

My daughter is a newly one year old, And she is only Comfortable with Myself and My boyfriend. but as everyone we need our space. Such as me going to school, and he is also in school too. Even something as little as staying in her crib, or just going to the bathroom! therefore we have to leave her with a babysitter. Everytime we leave her with someone else she crys and becomes a probelm. I need a solution quick.

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Asked by LeeLeeBabi16 at 1:53 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • I don't think there is any quick solution. I would suggest not making a big production when you have to leave like a bunch of hugs and kisses, etc. Try sneaking out when she isnt' looking. She may have anxiety about watching you go. My DD was much the same and it really hurt my family (who lives out of state) when she wouldn't go to any them. Then one day I had to help my DH with something outside while visiting and I just walked away and left her with my Mom. I came back and my Mom was holding her and playing with her. From that moment on, she went to everyone else in my family without a problem. Like my DD, she needs to know you are coming back and she is safe in the meantime.

    Answer by VirgoMom807 at 2:23 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • If she is anxious about your leaving, show her that you do indeed come back. Go out for a few minutes only. And come back and hug her. Next time go out for an hour. Come back and hug her.
    Gradually increase the time away. I agree with the above poster to go out with a smile and a hug- no drama- keep it a natural thing. I don't agree, no disrepect intended to the above poster, to sneak out. I think this might make her more clingy. Let her be confident that you'll be there unless you tell her you are leaving so she won't be sadly surprised, and gradually increase the time away and come back and greet her happily.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I know that I don't leave my DD without saying goodbye and telling her I will be back. I think it's an important part of developing a child's trust. It is possible that sneaking away may increase the baby's anxiety. Also, you don;t need a bif fanfare good-bye, but you might try leaving the baby with a shirt you have worn that has your scent on it- it may be the comfort baby needs while you away.

    Answer by livetolaughlove at 2:51 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • the game peek a boo helps with good byes.. i know ur not supposed to leave ur baby without saying good bye no matter if they cry or not. the game helps becouse they know ur coming back

    Answer by angelairelan at 3:25 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • The best solution is to take her with you.
    A babysitter is a stranger- you should be glad that your child isn't happy to just be left with anyone..
    The absolute only person my children take to is my mom- and that's because they see her every day..
    With a baby, I wouldn't aim to be gone for longer than 2 hours.

    Answer by Liyoness at 4:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Please don't make the mistake of sneaking out. It's easy for mom to avoid the tantrum but it creates trust issues for baby who will learn that you could disappear at any time without notice. As a nanny I've seen time and time again how this method of leaving can create such anxiety that the child will cry if mommy so much as leaves baby's view.

    First, find someone you can trust to entertain your child in your absence. Then, when you decide it is time to leave, say a quick (no more than 1 minute) goodbye to your child then walk out the door. Your chosen caregiver should be able to entertain your child enough for him to realize he can have lots of fun while mommy is gone.

    Eventually baby will be so used to your departure you may even be a little hurt by his indifference. Don't worry, baby still loves you, he just trusts you will return and has begun to learn valuable lessons in patience and trust.


    Answer by Butterflyechick at 6:17 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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