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How does one find a good and decent man?

Other than dating sites...been there, done that, hated it...how can I meet someone nice? I've been alone for almost 5 years now, and am finding it a bit depressing and quite lonely. I'm in good shape and have been told I'm attractive. People say you can meet someone through church or shopping at the supermarket. Well, that hasn't worked for me all these years. I really don't have any friends to speak of anymore...once I became separated, things changed a lot. I have no family here in Pennsylvania either...they all live in NY. If I had the extra money, which I don't, I would join E.Harmony...so this is not an option either. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much.

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dancermom52

Asked by dancermom52 at 4:23 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • When I gave up looking the perfect man walked into my life...I know it sounds like a crock but it's the truth. Where in PA are you at? I can ask him if he has any single friends if you live anywhere near where he's from.
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 4:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • GROW ONE! NO TRY PLENTYOFFISH
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I would work a little extra to pay for E harmony. In the meantime, tell everyone you do know that you are looking for a nice guy and give a little bit on the age, type, interests etc. Word of mouth is always better. You must also be around nice guys to find one and for him to find you. A place of worship with a singles group. Is Parents Without Partners still around? I think even here if you are more specific, you will get some ideas. The important thing is to go where they are rather than waiting for them to come to you. Also, you don't want to invest too much time getting involved in an organization, working etc. only to find nobody.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 4:27 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • em..I didn't know there was such a thing. WOW. you learn something new everyday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • That old adage "you'll find love when you're not looking for it" seems to have worked for me. I put up a myspace page saying I was only looking for friendship and networking....not dating....that wasn't the reason why I put it there. A few people started up conversations with me, and after talking to one for over a couple months, we took a chance on a date. It was meant to be. We're great for each other. The key was talking as friends first though....with no expectations of anything more. We could be more open that way.
    halfpint_ny

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 4:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Yup I will add to the "quit looking for it" suggestion. I met my husband when I was just casually dating. I was either looking for something serious, or just someone to hang out with for a date... none of that pull ya along drama in the middle. If I didn't like someone: Next please. It wasn't like I had em lined up at the door (although surprisingly when I adopted that attitude they were much more plentiful!) I just did my thing... I went out for cocktails with the girls after work, went to parties etc. My husband and I got married after knowing each other 6 weeks. Been married almost 5 years now. Ohhh yeah and Eharmoney sucks :) Never showed me him and I wouldn't have wanted anything else. Just go have fun :) Find a poker club or something like that? Find something you love, a good hobby, and throw yourself in it... Golf is a good one for being alone AND meeting people...

    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 4:39 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • If you've already tried church, including getting involved in the various committees and groups at church and also in the volunteer opportunities there, try taking classes at the local college or Y, volunteer at political groups, give the word out to your friends. It is better to meet someone through groups or through other people since there is a better chance that he'll have some of the same interests and philosophies.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:48 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I think you could re-phrase your question with "How does a good man find me? I don't go where the guys I would be interested in go to."
    Then I would say, what do you like in a man? Write it down.
    Until you know what you are looking for, you won't know where to find it, or let it find you.
    Try buying diamonds at the grocery store! That's not where they are.
    KimPepperoni

    Answer by KimPepperoni at 5:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Ohh Kim ! So true :) I still have my list. I made it before I started dating with a purpose. Either wanted to be married, or having fun. And my list had EVERYTHING I wanted in a man... literally written down on notebook paper. I still have it down stairs in our paperwork somewhere :)

    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 5:12 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • If I were looking for a husband, I would look for him in no place other than the church. Or, I would ask my church going friends to point me in the direction of some church going, Bible believing men. Don't become impatient. Rmemeber, good things come to those who wait.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:22 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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