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2 Bumps

Do you think someone can just stop being bisexual? adult content

My friend's 1st sexual encounter was with a male at 16. At 17 she started having sex with her female friend on a regular basis which lasted til both were 22. Both had boyfriends as well off and on at the same time. My friend then started living a gay lifestyle from 22-27. She slept with several women,and lived with 1 for 2 years. She then met her current husband and married a year later. I've asked her and she says she's no longer attracted to women. Can you just shut off feelings you had for 10+ years? Or is she in denial?

 
butterflyblue19

Asked by butterflyblue19 at 11:12 AM on Aug. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,281 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • I think people are attracted to whoever they feel attracted to. i don't like labels. I have been attracted to women, i have had sexual encounters with women, but i don't call myself "BI" I'm just attracted to certain people.

    Since i have been married, i have not been attracted to any women. Maybe my DH gives me all i need, so i don't really go looking.

    I doubt she is "shutting off feelings" she's probably just lost interest in women since her marriage, which is totally natural & normal. I know a good handful of women who no longer find interest in women now that they are married. I do think women are pretty, but i don't sit around thinking about having sex with them. I only do that with my husband.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:18 AM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • She will always be bisexual.. she just chooses to be with a man.

    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:13 AM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • I had a 15 year relationship with a woman and now I'm happily married to a man and have no interest in women sexually. I went through a period where I thought I was gay because I'd had such a bad experience with men prior to that. It seemed like it would be easier with women because you can understand their brains better because you are one. However, once the fireworks of the forbidden love are over, it's just another relationship. I began to really miss being with a man. I missed the difference between the sexes. I missed having a real man inside me if you know what I mean. I never was completely fulfilled by a woman. I am now with my husband. I can honestly say I'm not bisexual because I don't fantasize about women or want to touch a woman. And I also felt gross about going down on a woman too but I made myself do it because at the time I wanted to be with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • Well, no, but a) you don't have to be gay to have sex with someone of your own gender; and b) being bisexual doesn't mean you can't be monogamous. If she's not interested in anyone else, that's fine.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 11:23 AM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • Bisexual means attracted to both sexes...she chose to be with a female for a while but then ended up with a guy. Doesn't mean she still can't be attracted to females but her chosen partner is a male. It's no different than you choosing to be with one person for the rest of your life.
    MrsMWF

    Answer by MrsMWF at 11:45 AM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • I could see the attraction ending in a sense that it wasn't what she was interested in anymore, but I think she's still bisexual. But I wouldn't call it denial either.
    she's just living the way she chooses and that is fine. :)
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:01 PM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • You're assuming her lack of interest in women is a shutting off of feelings or denial. But are YOU interested in men other than your husband? I mean, ok maybe you note their attractive, but do you actually want to be with tem? It's not different for her just because she's also into women. She can commit to one person just as a straight person does. Just as your attraction to other men lessens once you find the one you want to be with, her attraction to women does the same thing.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:11 PM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • agree superr mommyy
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 2:13 PM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • SWasson, yes, you do have to "be gay" to have sex with a member of your own sex. Bisexual is also a version of being gay or lesbian and a bisexual is NOT straight..
    I don't understand why people say that.
    And there is nothing wrong with it either.
    Its NOT a choice.
    That is something I don't get either---how people always think that Gay or Lesbian or Bisexuality is a choice. Its not.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 11:43 AM on Aug. 26, 2011

  • I've asked her if she finds women attractive at all,maybe not ogling them,but noticing an attractive female for her features,but she says no.
    She just makes me wonder because she was so gung ho about being gay then all of a sudden she's with a guy again. I think it started as pressure from her family to be straight. I want her to be true to what she is,not what others want her to be. I want her happy with herself,whatever that is.
    butterflyblue19

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 12:28 PM on Aug. 26, 2011