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Why does my husband avoid being in the house ALWAYS????

I swear, he has 'so many things to do', including working on his truck, stealing time away from his mom (who also lives in the complex), yada yada yada! I understand he has things to do outside of the home, but he takes it to a new level.

I'm not a bitch, by the way, I just want to spend time with him, but he just seems to dump the kids on me and bail.

I need a good answer for this one...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • It is hard to answer when we don't know the conditions in the house. If the children are always running around and screaming, if there is nagging and complaining going on, (Not that I am saying there is, these are just possibilities to explain his actions) then he may consider any place but home as a refuge. If his home is comfortable and has very little stress, arguing, and so forth, then maybe he'll be more interested in being in there. Greet him with true pleasure, ask him about his day, make him feel like the king of his castle, and possibly he'll think of his home as a refuge. Or, he may simply want to do maintenance on his truck, or get fresh air. :)
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:39 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • If his mom is in the complex and he's commented on getting away from her, that very well may be a big part of the reason! Try planning some inexpensive outings for all of you to do. That way he can get away from the complex but also spend some quality time with the family.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 8:41 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • OK more clarification: Our kids aren't unruly, if everything is taken care of...
    and I try to greet him with happiness..

    One time he acted like an A hole all day and left so I didn't go to call him until I was wondering where he was. It's as if he's fishing for an excuse to leave ALL THE TIME.

    I just want to have fun days with the kids; it used to be a magical experience to have him home and enjoying his kids; now it seems like they feel like a burden. :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • In addition to that, our house isn't always the cleanest b/c I have a toddler and another baby and sometimes it's hard to finish the laundry or finish the dishes b/c I don't want to wake them from their nap, etc.

    He also SAYS he likes my cooking (and he I think would tell me) but always insists on cooking dinner, even if I offer, but won't eat right away or at all if I've cooked.

    Men are wierd.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • he's an asshole who doesn't want to be a good husband or father, that's all i get from this.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 9:09 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Based on what you're saying not only does he read like an a**hole, but it sounds as if he may be having an affair. The reason I say this is b/c my ex used to do the same thing. He would find a reason to leave all of the time. He would start an argument over the smallest things and then just leave without even trying to resolve the issue. A couple of months later I found out that he had been having an affair and then everything fell into place and began to make sense. I would just try to talk to him and to resolve the issues. If he continues to act in this manner than it may be time to leave.
    micrespo

    Answer by micrespo at 9:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Proverbs 25:24
    Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (nagging, trouble making etc)

    My father's favorite Bible verse - with very good reason!!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 9:30 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I agree with baby love!
    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 10:13 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Hmm.

    Let him cook if he likes it...one less thing for you to do. (My hubby cooks better than I do but rarely cooks any more.,..I'm trying to encourage him.)

    I think I'd not make a big deal of him going anywhere. He's the one missing out.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:55 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Going through that right now and I know the feeling. I see what Baby Love is saying, I think I will try that for myself.
    arlschulz

    Answer by arlschulz at 1:04 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

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