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How can I get my 13 year old excited about the new baby?

We have an only and were surprised with the news of another one on the way. My daughter does not seem excited and we are worried that she will recent the baby and us. She's a great kid but I really want to involve her but she just is not interested!

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mikki218

Asked by mikki218 at 8:49 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (6)
  • she probably will give her time. right now she's going through her teen yrs and to her that's dramatic enough.
    twistedgemini36

    Answer by twistedgemini36 at 8:55 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Sounds pretty normal to me. 13 yo don't care about much more than themselves. She may be afraid you are going to expect her to take care of the baby. That will really infringe on her plans for life! I would ask her how she feels about the baby. It's got to be hard for her to even think about someone else coming in and getting your attention. I would focus on your remaining time together to do things with her, have fun with her. Make it a time to covey how special she has been and how lucky you have been to have had her all to yourself for 13 years. The love of her sibling will come or not, after the baby is born. It's a huge difference and may be too much to ask of her at this age especially. You will not be able to make her get excited. Just continue to assure her that you love her and that you will be there for her and then follow through on that.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:56 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • My son is the same way, 13 and not happy about the baby. But look at it from their perspective-it has just been them until now. 13 is so hard, imagine adding the question"will i be loved as much?" to the mix. I tell ds daily how grateful I am to be able to share this w/him and that I know he will teach this lil baby(boy) so much about being a good person. Slowly he is coming around and asking stuff, and he takes good care of me and talks about "protecting his brother." email me if u want to talk about this further, 13 is tuff.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:38 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • This happened with a friend last year. Baby will be 1 in Jan and older sister still isn't real thrilled. Mom has tried so many things to involve her, but her typical response has been "You had this baby, not me. I didn't tell you to have another." She isn't an only, but her younger brother was 9 when Baby came. Her response was still the same. The 9yo was very excited. I was 9.5 when my mom had my only younger brother and I remember being very excited. Maybe it's just the age and how selfish she's been allowed to be up until this point. I'm not saying your daughter is selfish, just that we all are to a point. And if she's been able to indulge that more than she would've with siblings then it could be adding to the tension now. It certainly did with my friend's DD.
    GrowingMama

    Answer by GrowingMama at 2:37 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • At the age of 13 she is not really going to be excited about anything that doesn't involve her - it's perfectly natural at that age.
    You can involve her with the decorating of the nursery and purchasing of baby items, if she wants, but don't push her.
    You can also find some "big sister" things for her to get her in the mood, and perhaps even have her go with you to a doc visit to hear the baby's heartbeat or to see the ultrasound.
    The main thing is to not push her, not to make every single conversation about the new baby, and to do special things with her often before the baby arrives.
    PrydferthMenyw

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 8:58 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • My son is turning 14 and the baby is 11 mo. Just recently is he doing better with her. She cries in her crib and he picks her up :) It will happen just be patient.
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 8:03 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

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