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my 18 yr old daughter is rebelling so bad at this age.She wants to date a 16 yr old,she doesn't respect us, and she doesn't want to go or do any thing with her life?,,what should we do. we tell her if she doesn't like our rules she can move out,,,,,but she doesn't she is making everyone walk on "egg shells" because we don't know when she's going to explode and act like a 3 yr old ,,what shouldwe do?

 
twistedgemini36

Asked by twistedgemini36 at 8:51 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (16)
  • It sounds like shes feeling disrespected. Maybe there are certain rights or treatment she feels she deserves. She is an adult and sounds like she is experiencing a very hard time in her life. She is at a transition point.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • She is 18 and therefore she should be acting like an adult to some extent. you and your family shouldnt have to walk on eggshells because of her. lay down the law and stand by your word. make a set of rules, one of which being respect and when she decides not to follow them and "explode" tell her t find another place to live. She will either leave and not change and learn the hard way or she will leave and want to come home, so she will decide to change, or she could leave and grow up a little or maybe she wont leave at all, but either way you need to stick to your guns with her.
    asholan_07

    Answer by asholan_07 at 8:54 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • This might sound harsh... but take it from a rebelous child... pack her bags and put them in the yard. My mom did it to me when I was 15 and ya it took me a while but when I had to buy my own food and clothes and get myself to where I needed to be... I learned A LOT. I got worse before I got better but had my mom walked on egg shells and just kept putting up with my stuff I would have never changed. Shes 18... she a legal adult. She can get a job, a car, and all that without having her parents permission... she will be fine. Maybe mad for awhile... but fine.
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 8:57 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I had my first baby at 18 and I can't imagine myself acting like this at that age.
    Tell her if she doesn't start acting right, she needs to move out.
    Autumn22

    Answer by Autumn22 at 8:59 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Time to sign her up to the military. lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Give her a time frame to improve (get job, car, etc) or to move out. I am all for supportive parenting, but at 18 I had a newborn & a mortgage Give her the time and support to get on the right path, but if it does not work you may need to get tough.

    It is your home, don't adapt your family to her wishes.
    Wiggles_GA

    Answer by Wiggles_GA at 9:06 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I have a 21 yo niece who rules the roost and her parents. She is the meanest, most unproductive, uneducated, unemployed leach on society...and those are her good qualities! LOL

    Her parents continue to enable her bad behavior by NOT making her go to school (she's already failed out of two college programs and went to private high school), get a job, or practice safe sex! They're more afraid she'll "hate them" if they get tough, or if something bad happens to her they'll feel guilty. I've asked them what's the alternative? They get mad at me! Trust me she didn't get this way overnight! You HAVE to lay down the law, and let the chips fall where they may...you shouldn't let your child tell YOU what to do!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • You need to move this question to the adult children section. Your daughter needs to be given three months to find a job, a place to live and start packing. She is not behaving like an adult. Perhaps she needs counseling and you can help her pay for it now while she is working on getting out (if you can and want to). Sounds a bit odd that she wants to date a 16 yo, unless she is still in high school. If she is still a student, I would go to family counseling and get some advice from other parents who have been through it. Why are you letting her control you like that? A parent shouldn't be walking on eggshells around their own child. Get some counseling for yourself so you can deal with this in more of a tough love fashion. Good Luck
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:52 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Why would she want to chance, things are working great for her, she has food a place to stay probably money when she needs it , a cell phone and a car when she needs it, at this age she should be independant or at least heading in that direction. Give her a time line to get her life together and get out, or pay you rent and straighten up. She is an adult now, it is time to treat her as one..... You should not be walking on eggshells around her....My sister moved in with us around that age after a rape several suicide attmpts, drugs and drinking, it did not take me long to put her out and even tho we worried she learned to stand on her own and a few years later she thanked me for the tough love. I can only assume she has all those things in my reply; you did not give us enough info.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:55 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • It sounds tough but at 18 I had to get a job and pay rent. Yes I decided to move out. Worst decision I made. I then had to work full time while finishing my senior year. I wouldn't have had to work so hard at home, but I would have also made things easier for my parents. But I was not acting anywhere near what you DD is acting like. She need to get a clue or get out. Good Luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:09 PM on Dec. 28, 2008