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My 17 year old brother with autisuim...

has lost his mother with in the past 3 years.We know things are hard on him,as they are with all of us so we know the change had to be hard.He moved in with his grandmother.I have 2 kids of my own and Im 22(married) ,but I dont have the space.If something were to happen to my grandmother we would get him.Anyway is there a way to explain to him that hes being rude to my grandmother?She doesnt understand most of his behavior issues,and just takes them personally.For Christmas we knew he wanted a wii but hes already ruined a game cube and he can not handle disks.My grandmother bought him another game cube as the wiis are just out of budget,he opened it and was very disappointed and even said such.What can I do?I know he doesnt understand,I know she doesnt understand.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (5)
  • Honestly? I think u need to either place him in a group home or take him on yourself. Your gramma is too old to raise another child, especially one w/special needs. It isn't fair to anyone involved to expect her to "figure" him out. If he stays there, please get her some support thru social services.I understand a lack of space but if something happens to her u get him anyways, so why not work on getting him now so he and gramma can enjoy a gramma/grandson relationship before it is too late? She si doing the best she can, at the least try to find someone to help her with his daily needs and stuff, this way bro continues to thrive as well. i know when I was 22 my gramma was in her 70's she was ready to nap-not raise another child.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:50 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I agree with the previous poster. It is time to get some assistance through your state or local agencies to assist your brother with some independent living and respite for your grandmother. Does your brother get SSI? Your brother will likely never live on his own, but he could likely do fine in a group home type setting. If you need any assistance in finding agencies feel free to send me a message.

    Answer by Magpie75 at 2:01 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • My brother is 23 and on the spectrum. I agree with the other posters. There's no way my grandmother could understand or live with him - it's even difficult for our mother. Yet, I understand your not being overly thrilled to move him into your home either. I know I would struggle with that if I had to do it and I'm in my 30's. It's hard on you and your own children. The dynamic of your family would change to have the constant involvement with your brother going on. I'd see if I could find some way for him to live in an assisted situation and be involved in his life regularly, but preferrably not in my home 24 hours a day. I hope you find a good answer to the problem soon.

    Answer by GrowingMama at 2:42 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Im sorry guys-I left out alot of detail.My uncle is disabled as well ,he has cereabal paulsey so she has delt with disability previously.Also I think Id offend her if I asked to take him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • One last thing..she doesnt do it alone.My other brother who is 15 lives with her.My brother who's 25 lives with in walking distance as well as my aunt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

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