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How do you get your baby to sleep in his own room?

My son turned 1 a week ago and he still sleeps with my husband and I. I know that it will not only affect him later but it affects us now. It really puts a hold on alone time. Not just sex time but time for us to just lay and talk and cuddle. We have tried the tough love and we are not strong enough. James hates to be alone. He won't even play alone in his room. How can I get him to feel more comfortable?

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Asked by DStephens7 at 10:02 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • Dr. Jay Gordon has written a GREAT article on transitioning from the family bed. You'll find it on

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:06 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • i dont have advice but just thought it might help to let you know i'm in the same boat. my husband sleeps in the spare bedroom so we dont get much time alone at all. i'm just hoping that my son will be able to transition out of our bed as he gets older. if you figure out a good method that works, let me know!

    Answer by shinbi at 10:23 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • The first thing you need to do is lay him in his crib. He is not going to be happy about it, he will scream and cry. You know that there is nothing wrong with him, get him a night light or one of those bears that light up. Stay strong and dont give in. It may take a few nights of him throwing a fit before he gets used to it. I had to do this with my kids. It works and good luck!

    Answer by Lindsey24 at 10:46 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Before my daughter turned 1, she used to sleep with me in my bed because I was scared that she could roll over n suffocate n she seemed to sleep better w/ me on the bed.  Putting her in the crib was a battle during bed time, so I would give up.What I did, was during her nap times I would puther in her crib so she can be familiar w/ it n learn to be comfortable in it.  But I would put her asleep first before I put her in.(I don't know if you baby still has a pacifier, but that eased her too)And slowly, when she was sleeping in her crib often n better during her naps, I put the crib in in my room so she wouldn't be scared n to make it easier for her to sleep in the crib. When my daughter was17 months I put the crib in her room and with a nightlight (no pacifier but a bottle of water, sometimes milk)on, she sleeps great! it's all about transitioning n building a thick skin for it

    Answer by Adja70 at 11:11 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • She's one week old??????? I can't belive OP would suggest letting a 1 week old baby CIO. There will be plenty of time for mommy and daddy alone time. You have been parents for 1 week and already want to isolate this little one and expect him to be self sufficient. Babies are meant to be with their mommies. He spent 9 months in the womb, it will take at least 9 months outside the womb to get even reasonably comfortable without mama around. That's jsut the way it goes.

    If you certainly feel that baby is too much of a burden at 1 week old, use a bassinet next to your bed, and every few days to a week move the bassinet further and further away from your bed until baby is in the hall, down the hall, in his room, etc.

    However, babies at ths age wake frequently at night and need your parenting, so you would have a much easier go of it just to keep him in your room.

    Good luck either way.

    Answer by Arkaidy at 9:24 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Oh, haha, I re-read that and he turned ONE A WEEK AGO! Makes much more sense!! Lol. I was like, omg he's a week old and ALREADY you want him to stop bugging you?? Lol,

    So, new advice! :) Does he sleep through the night? Or most of it? How do you get him back to sleep if he wakes? I ask this, because if he's still night waking, you are not going to like to have to walk to his room every night and soothe him. So, you may want to keep that in mind.

    f he does good at night, I still recommend the slow move things, little by little move him out of your room until he is in his own. Once he is in his room, if he isn't sure about it, YOU cna sleep in his room a few nights, and then move YOURSELF slowly further and further away.

    Dr. Sears and Elisabeth Pantley have good info on this. is a good site and they probably cover this in ther FAQ section.


    Answer by Arkaidy at 9:27 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • My son is 18 months old and still tries to sleep with us...what usually ends up happening is me laying in bed with our bed until he falls asleep..the i leave him in there until i go to bed. Once i go to bed i take him and put him in his own bed...sometimes is works and he will sleep in there until 8am, other times it does not and he usually ends up back in my bed around 2am...while daddy sleeps on the couch...
    It's also hard because I'm a stay at home mom and when he naps we both my bed, and yes i have been told before that when he naps to put him in his own bed, but i am just as tired and simply don't feel like it...

    Answer by amandajeff at 3:43 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

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