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How do you let go..?

Hello everyone my name is Michelle and I am in need of some advice and you will think I am crazy by the time I get thought telling this but.... I am married to a man for 4 years now who has never held the same job very long. This year right before Christmas I lost my job so as far as Christmas well.... there was none. But let me go back a little bit further.. this man has left me twice and the last time I went on with my life until he found out and he begged me back so like I fool I love this man and went back thinking okay it will work.. Now here I am in the same shape or even worse but I love him why?? I just do ... he don't do anything special. but here for the past few months he lies about what he has done or just don't tell me .. he calls me names ... cusses at me ... and tells me he hates me... but then in the same night he will tell me he was just mad,


Asked by chellyhurst at 10:27 PM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • u kno what sweeetie... u may love him and love will make the most ignorant man alive worth "trying" it again with.... honestly tho... ur a volunteer to ur pain, not a victim. U need to inventory ur relationship and ur self worth and realize what ur willing to deal with.... are you settling?? is he really worth it?? u need to figure ur motives our for staying in this relationship and also his motives behind the relationship. Its real easy to realize what he had when its gone... but the problem is he doesnt respect it when he gets it back..... DONT SETTLE...keep it real or keep it movin.... only u can do something about this... u play a part in ur frustration BECAUSE U STAY IN IT..... THINK!

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 10:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • You have to be ready to walk away and stay gone. I had to have enough before I walked out of a relationship that was unhealthy for 5 years. Just walk away and don't look back. You will probably love him for a long time and it will hurt, but it will be the best decision. Don't take the abuse any longer. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by coala at 10:30 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I wish i could tell u why we love who we do.(hugs)to u is all I can do. I think maybe we are afraid to let go of a relationship , in case we never find that feeling again. But now that i am in my mid 30's I am starting to see changes in me, I am learning who I am adn dang it I am a good catch!I know what I need from a man and what I need from myself, unfortunantly the 2 don't always match. I think u need to look into yourself-decide why u love someone who treats u badly-and break the cycle. u are better than that, u deserve love, not the emotional abuse he gives u. good luck sweetie.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Been there... done that! Time to let go honey! He's no good and is doing YOU NO good. He's only giving you the poor excuse that he was just mad because he wants you to stay there til the next day when reality is... HE KNOWS YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS GOING TO PUT UP WITH HIS CRAP.. that necessarily not being a good thing. Why Men love Bitches... have you read that book?

    As the saying goes... you do it to me once, shame on you. You do it to me twice (or in this case 3 times) shame on ME!!! He's an ass! WAKE UP LOVE!!!

    Answer by Jeannie29 at 10:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Those are both excellent responses. I am sorry about your losing your job. At least you know you can work and support yourself. I hope that you find another job soon. It doesn't sound like a good life with him. If you let him go then you'll be able to start a new life that isn't under such a terrible burden of verbal abuse and uncertainty. If you could arrange it, maybe counseling would help you. ((hugs)) and best wishes.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • PS - dnt read these suggestions and go bak to doing the same thingg.... change it!!!!!! DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.... NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES..... TAKE SUGGESTIONS OR DNT ASK FOR ADVICE..... STAY STRONG MAMA!!!

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 10:38 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • If this was your daughter or your sister, what would you tell her?

    Now go to your mirror and tell your reflection the same thing. Then DO what you've told your reflection.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:42 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • I am not sure that's love.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:13 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Why stay with someone that is Emotionally abusing you? Dont you think you deserve better? You might be "used" to him, not in love with him. Take care of #1, YOU. let go and you will see how much your life will improve. He brings negativity to your life, get away before he destroys your self esteem.

    Answer by Yve538 at 11:54 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

  • Are you sure you love him or just like someone being in your life. how can you love someone who has no respect for you or himself. You need to get your life in order so you can take care of you and your children w/o someone in it. I mean, a woman always needs someway to take care of her and her children if the man goes away.That goes for men too. Never depend on anyone for your happiness, you need to make yourself happy. Like someone else said, what would you do if this was your child asking these questions?

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:59 AM on Dec. 29, 2008