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Is it ok to .......

My BF is a heavy drinker. I don't drink often, so it bothers me when he drinks so regularly. I get so frustrated somtimes, that I call his parents to let them know. The usually talk to him, take him to AA meetings ( though he says he is not an alcoholic) and things get better. Is it ok for me to go to them? The always thank me for calling them. What do you guys think?

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Yve538

Asked by Yve538 at 1:32 AM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would ask if he wants you to go to his AA meetings. He's probably embarrassed that his g/f has to see him go through this treatment. But it could be for the best. Since you really love him and care for him. I would stick by his side. Just being there could really help him. :) Good luck P.S. I am a Counselor support!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Do you mean go to his parents? or the meetings?

    If parents, yes. If they can get him to help, then by all means go to them. If you mean the meetings, I agree with the pp.
    GrowingMama

    Answer by GrowingMama at 2:47 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Aren't most AA meetings closed meetings, meaning only the person seeking help goes?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • its a cycle, and yes, he is an alcoholic. he just hasn't come to terms with it yet. you need to start attending some meetings yourself, with or without him..it will help you understand what the disease is doing to him, give you support from others who are in your shoes, and give you encouragement...hopefully, you'll learn how not to enable him...things don't get better after one meeting...they just get shoved further back into denial. that's what i meant when i said, 'cycle'. good luck, hon
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 4:25 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • anon424..there are closed meetings, but there are more open meetings than you think. also, there are groups for people who aren't alcoholics, but are spouses/family/putting up with the alcoholic,etc.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 4:27 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • If he says he's not an alcoholic... poor guy is in denial and until he realizes it, it's not going to work because he's going to make his parents happy.
    Since they thank you for going to them, I think it's okay since he will go for them and not for you.
    Best of luck, I'd suggest you get in the meetings for the ones that love alcoholics (alnon?)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:16 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • If you are talking about going to the parents...it is not only ok, but it sounds like it is really important that you do. If you are talking about the meetings, they have a separate group called Alanon or something similar that is for the friends and family of alcoholics
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:29 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • If his parents can get him to settle down and to the meetings, then you should keep going to them. You might want to look into Al-Anon meetings for yourself - for friend's and family of alcoholics/addicts. They can support you and give you more information on how to deal with his drinking problem.
    owensmom17

    Answer by owensmom17 at 12:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • He is attending Anon meetings with his father. Thanks for your answers
    Yve538

    Answer by Yve538 at 8:30 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

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