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3 Bumps

How do I deal with my boyfriend being in jail?

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I love him a lot and we are expecting out first child due, Dec 7th. He got arrested 2 days ago with 3 misdemeanors and 2 felonies (both are expected to be dropped to misdemeanors). But there is no chance for bail since I got fired from my job a month ago. So, in the last two days, I have had to move back to my parents house. I know they are trying to help me as best as they can, but I feel like they don't really want me here. They have a lot of rules and make me feel like I'm 13 again. My boyfriend is worried he won't be out of jail in time to see his son be born. All of this is stressing me out and I don't know how to handle it... what can I do to make it easier??? ):

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Aug. 28, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Your parents might want to know what your plans are so start planning - how long do you plan to stay; will you need help with the baby; how will you pay for the baby, etc. Ask them to discuss the rules and why they are so stringent - see if you can get them to compromise a bit. If they won't, well it is their house and you may need to make arrangements to move somewhere else. As far as your BF goes, you absolutely cannot worry about whether he will be out by the time the baby is born - there is nothing you can do about that so let that one go. I know you would prefer BF to be there, but the decision is not up to you. Once you start talking to your parents about your plans, they may recognize that you have been thinking this through and are acting like an adult rather than a 13 yo you might see them loosen up a bit. Remember, the baby feels everything you feel, so its important to be positive and calm. God Bless.
    pocmom

    Answer by pocmom at 10:40 PM on Aug. 28, 2011

  • I am going to give you some tough love here. Please don't take it as bashing. I am basing it off of what you have told us. I would first start by looking for another job. I know that you are pregnant, but I have known of women getting hired when they were 7, 8, even 9 months along. Second, I think it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. Is this the first time he has been in jail? What are his charges? If this is an ongoing thing, do you really want to raise your child in that type of environment? Third, you are going to have to except that you have got yourself in this situation, and your parents may not be too pleased with your decisions. For now, the only thing you can do is to follow their rules and make a plan to better yourself so that you can support yourself and your new baby.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:44 PM on Aug. 28, 2011

  • Hinestly, Idk exactly what he did, but id talk to him & if he doesnt seem to want to change, or if his past is the same as the present, id ditch his ass.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 10:38 PM on Aug. 28, 2011

  • At this point, he would be on his own. You have a baby to worry about. he is a man or should act like a man. He needs to find the resources to deal with his issue. YOU need to take care of yourself and the baby.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:41 PM on Aug. 28, 2011

  • Your parents probably didn't plan on their pregnant daughter having to move back home because her boyfriend was put in jail. I am sure that made them real proud. It is their house, if you don't like the rules find somewhere else that will take you in and take care of your needs while you are pregnant and unemployed with a loser boyfriend locked up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Aug. 28, 2011

  • things with parents should calm as long as you realize it IS their home and it is their rules
    you can be doing much expecting a baby, and you should be helping out however you can
    let your parents know that you appreicate what they do for you, they are most likely worried about you and your situation
    give them a bit of slack

    as for the father/boyfriend
    you say that you have never had to deal with this situation, BUT with multiple charges- he has- bit more history and info on charges?

    you need to relax and spent this time taking care of yourself and in turn taking care of your child

    plan for a future without him - because this will make you stronger, if he gets his sh_t together great- then he will have a stronger woman when he is out

    spend your time thinking of baby, not a man who acts like one
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:24 PM on Aug. 28, 2011

  • just don't stress about it , think about the baby. I know a girl in a simiar situation and she ended up in the hosiptal for depression and stress and had the baby early. Just relax and try to talk to someone who can give you free legal advice and get counseling outside of the family and friends.GL ....
    geminilove709

    Answer by geminilove709 at 10:45 PM on Aug. 28, 2011

  • I hope you are not sitting around waiting for this guy to get out of jail. You need to start thinking on what you are going to do. If he does not get out anytime soon. Sooner or later you will have to get on with your life.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:51 PM on Aug. 28, 2011

  • Two felonies that he's going to plead down? Felonies are not a joke; those are filed for serious stuff.

    I think you need to count on him not being there for the birth. And he only has himself to blame for it. If he knew he had warrants he could have turned himself in, made a plea deal and probably have been out in time for the birth.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:03 AM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • Don't give up! Think about the baby
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 3:58 AM on Aug. 29, 2011

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