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Do I Have The Right????

Ok, here is my question/problem. My daughter is 17, she works a part time job and does very good in school. She has a cell phone, which she pays for it with her own money. Ok, my question is, when she needs to be punished and we take her phone, is it fair that we take her phone that she pays for. I feel that I have every right to do this, not to be mean, but to get my point across that if you don't go by the rules you have to pay. Her cell phone is conected to her hands! She keeps it locked all the time, she thinks me and her daddy would read her messages, which is not true, but I did tell her that she is giving off bad signs that she is hiding something. I feel as a parent I have the right to do what ever it takes to keep my kids in line, even if it means taking something from them for a few days that they pay for. What do you all think?


Asked by TammyG. at 2:19 AM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (10)
  • I was thinking at first I wouldn't take it away from her . If the phone is interfering with her grades and quality of life then yea I would remove the source even if she is paying for the phone.


    Answer by pnwmom at 3:17 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • my mom did that to me and i absoulutly hated it. and to be honest it didnt work for me. i jsut went behind there backs and took my cell or just used teh house phone. i personaly think that if it was my daughter i wouldnt have taken it. if its soemthign they pay for then i really dont believe in taking it away form them. my daughters only 3 tho so i have so much to look forward

    Answer by vadasmom at 2:25 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • My mom would've took it and she would've read it. She wasn't wrong in my eyes - even though I wouldn't have admitted that at the time - but she did things like that to protect me. She read my diaries and that led to many discussions, but I was always honest with her. I believe if you are looking out for her best interests and you aren't being hateful about it - just matter of fact that this is how things are - then I don't see a problem. Although she's about to leave home, she should be submitted to you as her parent enough still that she is obedient. Otherwise she's possibly headed for silent rebellion and that would be a problem.

    Answer by GrowingMama at 2:25 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I find it wrong that you take away an item she pays for. Now you could take something like say...... internet access if you pay for it.... or other things. i know my mom locked me in a closet for a day or two with meals of course, with nothing to do. hope i was helpful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • okay, i partially agree with anonymous lol not the closet part, but the cell phone part. maybe take away internet access or something like that, but idk i just find it a way different situation if she pays for the phone on her own and stuff...

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 2:35 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • The way I see it, if the tables were turned and someone took away something that I paid for with my own money because I didn't act the way they thought I should, I'd be pretty pissed. If it's not okay for someone to do it to me, then I would never be okay with doing that to another person. I also have to wonder if what she being punished for is even related to her phone? If not, then taking away her phone REALLY doesn't make sense to me at all. I don't know what you are punishing her for, but I'd bet that there are probably other options that would make more sense and create less resentment.

    Answer by jessradtke at 2:39 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I don't believe you have the right to take away something she is paying for. If you were paying for it then it would be different.

    Answer by aritoyh at 2:41 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I personally don't think you have the right to be taken something from her that she rightfully earned it's hers and hers alone because she pays for it. She works hard for her money and she uses it to pay her bill. How would you feel if your MIL or Mom came over and took your cell phone because you did something wrong? At 17 she's almost a legal adult so the concept is closely the same. My parents did that to me with my car I paid for it and I paid the insurance it didn't work it just made me resentful of them and hate living under their roof.

    Answer by bubblycute at 2:52 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • When you punish your child, you don't take away things they could care less about having. You take away things that mean something to them, that way when they act up again they will remember what happened before. As for my daughter, she is very verbable abbusive to her sisters and brother. Shows no respect for me and her daddy. Just because she's 17 dosen't mean shes grown "yet". So no, most of the time her phone has nothing to do with the reason shes being punished, but it is one thing she hates taken away for a day or so. When she is caught talking on her phone till all hours of the night, slacking on her grades and being to sleepy in school.... Yep! I take her phone until "I" think shes rested up and caught up on her grades at school. I don't feel I'm being a bad mom, I just feel like alot of parents give their kids to much freedom before they are grown. Thanks for your opinions!


    Answer by TammyG. at 3:09 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • This is such a touchy subject, I guess it all comes down to this. Do you trust her? Not just that though, she's being responsible enough as a 17 year old to pay her bills I don't think you have the right to take her phone since she pays the bills. Privacy is her right especially since she's paying the bills. There are other ways to disipline your child without touching her phone.


    Answer by BooBear666 at 3:41 AM on Dec. 29, 2008