Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am worried about my 18 year old son's relationship with my step-duagther.

My 18 year old step-duagther came home this month for a visit and she just told her dad that she and 18 year old my son have been having sex and are falling for each other. Is this normal and should I be concerned. I love my step-duagther very much, she is a great kid and I dont want this to ruin my relatetionship with her and or her father......Should I be conerned and if so how do I stop it from going to far....please help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:27 AM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (11)
  • Okay, well my step brother and sister dated for a brief period of time and yes, they did have sex. My parent sput a stop to it and made my step brother move in with my grandma, but they continued anyway. They eventually broke it off and now they are both married (to different people) and have kids and laugh about it. You know them better than I do. Do you think they are both mature enough to handle this if/when things go south? If so, I would not continue to let them have sex (especially not in my house!) and monitor them. I wouldn't let it effect your marriage.

    Answer by navy-wife at 6:50 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • having the same problem here, my son is 16 and his step sister is 17, my son, says they have cooled it off, cause she is dating a 30 yr old, his dad and new wife, have no clue, but have accused them, of having sex, kids will do what they want, if you forbid it, then they want to do it more?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • they are both 18. not to much you can really do about it, other than discuss to consequences of having sex. lay some ground rules about living arrangements in your house. what you find acceptable & not acceptable. hopefully one of them will listen to you. but they are legally adults, you cant really stop it, but you can do what you can to stop it at your home. or at least thats what i do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • They are both 18 and if they havent been raised together then there isnt the bond of brother and sister that other step kids might have had. It may seem incestuous because you are looking or hoping theyd be more like brothers and sisters but it doesnt always work that way. Second if they have any issues with you and dad being together then subconsciously they could be doing this to make you feel uncomfortable as well, or they could be reaching out to one another because they need each other and understand how the other feels, after all they are in the same position basically.
    You cannot really stop it but you can try to explain why you feel as you do, and why you think its not appropriate. Thats all you can do. If they are intent on being together though there isnt much you can do.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:08 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Technically they are only related by marriage and there isn't really anything incestuous about it. Especially if they haven't been raised together, like the other poster said. Most likely its something that will blow over, but since they are 18, you can only make rules for your home. Just make sure they know the consequences of babies, or std's. Hopefully they already know. Good luck.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:20 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I"m guessing the wonderful part about you was passed on to your dd and the wonderful part of your h was passed on to his son and they both recognize it in each other. You two must be great folks. They both just want what you two have. I would imagine they are like everyone else in life searching for love. They see it in your relationship and want it as well. Let them work it out. They are adults now. It will be ok. Look at it this way, you know what kind of person his parents are!

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:00 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • You probably can't stop them from doing what they are doing, but I would not allow it to take place in my home. I would sit them both down and explain to them together that this makes for a very sticky mess, especially if it is just a passing fancy between them. I would further explain to them that my first priority is to keep my marriage strong, and I am not going to allow them or anyone else to threaten it. I think you will have much more credibility if you talk to them in terms of protecting your own marriage.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:34 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • My sister and my step brother dated... Jus let them be if they love each other unless it bothers to you then maybe you should talk to them and let them know its bothering you and why its bothering you

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 1:46 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Do not let this affect your marriage. Your husband and you are commited to one another. These two lusting teens are not necesarily commited and may decide they hate each other in 2 wks and your marriage is not worth their stupid actions. I agree with others who say do not let it happen in the houshold!! Just as you wouldnt allow them to hang out with and have sex with their bf/gf in the house dont allow them. Explain to them why you are both not comfortable with the situation and that it has no place inside your walls..You two pay for the place not them You call the shots!

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 2:50 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Well at least they don't hate each other as some step brothers and sisters do. Which seems to put a big strain on parents. And be thankful that you all get along and have accepted each with caring love. They are 18 and yes I would set rules in my house about sex even for my own kids living in my house and brought someone home. I feel that if you tell them that you care for them both so much that they need to realize that if they become involved and then they break up they need to remember that they will still be a part of each others family because their parents are married to each other. They will need to remain friends if nothing else. It is a shocker I am sure but they aren't blood related and as it seems this is like one of those movies where odd things happen. Talk to them...tell them you care about them and make sure your husband is in on this too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.