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How to talk to your best friends about her kids?

My best friend since High School we live on the same street. My dream of buying the house down the street became my greatest nightmare. We both have children and I thought how great. Not so much. Her kids are monsters when they come in my house they break and tear things up. About 4 weeks ago we were all hanging out in front of the house and then the kids wanted to go into the house so i started cleaning up and they went in the house. Well her kids are so crazy that they started to fight and her son throw a car at her sister missed her and hit my daughter. I dropped everything ran into the house my daughter eye started to puff out and bruise immediatly i iced it but was so angry this happened her kids are so mean! My daughter now has a permament scare by her eye. She is really hard to talk to about her kids????

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Angela1436

Asked by Angela1436 at 8:22 AM on Dec. 29, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (14)
  • well i would make sure if you want to spend time with your friend that it was at her house from now on or they would just play outside. they would not be allowed in my home. and another incident with one of her kids hurting one of you kids accident or not (and it was no accident he was trying to hurt somone he just got the wrong person) then i would definitely have to lay down the law. my sil has two boys that are really bad and disrespectful and whenever they come to my house i make sure to let them no if they don't behave that aunt jodi will paddle them weather their mother is there or not. this is my house and as soon as you walk in my door you go by my rules. if you don't like it stay home.
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I would set out the rules for YOUR house . Let her children know that throwing is unacceptable , etc whatever the rules are .
    If she is unwilling to parent her children perhaps distancing yourself from them is your best option.
    Meshell7

    Answer by Meshell7 at 8:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • If she is your friend I would be honest with her. I am sure she knows her kids arent well behaved. Just tell her you have basic rules for your house and you love her and her kids to death but the way they act just isnt ok with you in your home. She might get upset but if shes your best friend then she will come to understand.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:59 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Just be honest with her, if her kids were acting like monsters I would tell her and the next time the kids come over to play i would lay out the rules and the minute they got broken I would send their butts home.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:41 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Have your daughter throw toys at his eye lol. Yes talk to her..SURE no parent wants to hear they have bratty kids but they should be tought to respect your home.. Si just ask her or next time take it into your own hands and just yell at them..
    ryanlynn

    Answer by ryanlynn at 10:40 AM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • First of all, if you are that close to her kids treat them the same as you treat your kids. Why did you not get upset at the car thrower? Treat him like any other kid that broke the rule and make him pay the consequence.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 12:01 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • It is hard.
    My BFF has boys who RUN, and SCREAM in the house. We don't run, we don't scream, and we don't wrestle in my house. They have broken a few things, but mostly they just make it impossible to relax and visit. They are rude to my girls and try to wrestle with them! They try to hurt me when they give me a high 5. They punch and kick (even faking it is rude to me).
    They are SO loud, it's rude, annoying, and nerve-wracking!

    She never seems to notice... doesn't bother her. She thinks its normal for boys to fart on their mother and laugh about it. Then she doesn't understand when they don't fit in a classroom well.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • (CONT!)
    They have atrocious table manners, too. They make huge messes and they are plenty old enough not to. (6 and 8) They eat dripping food everywhere, rarely use a fork, and chew with their mouths open. My girls sit at the table, and ask to be excused.
    When we are at my house, I try to remind them of my rules, and if I keep them, I make them mind me. But if we are at her house, I stay out of it.
    It's very hard, and just talking to her about it would be a huge problem in our relationship - which I'm not willing to damage over her rowdy kids. They'll grow up soon enough, and I need her as my friend for life.
    She's a Cafemom, so I'm going anon... Love her anyway!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • careful, CAREFUL... this is your dearest friend. she knows her kids are brats but we all need one place where our kids are loved like we love them kwim? u do need to address this w/her kids tho. Tell them here are the rules if u break them, u go home. Then when u have to talk to friend u can say"well dd/ds knew the rule and made a choice." takes the heat off you and onto her kids. If she asks your opinion about her kids, tell her gently but tell her. My bf's youngest is a huge brat and she feeds into it, but it is not my place to tell her what to do-I figure she'ss figure it out.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 6:27 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I hope you took your friends child home for hurting your daughter. I know it was an accident and accidents do happen but I would want my friend to see what happened. She needs to correct her child and have her child apologize, you should also remind both your children and your friends children house rules. No yelling, no hitting, no throwing toys in the house etc..When your friends children do not follow rules take them home. When play loud tell them to play outside if weather permitting.  Make sure you talk to your friend in a kind manner on what is going on.  When it comes to ones child, parents can be very protective...Invite your friend over for coffee while your children play you can have some adult time and her help with the kids.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 8:24 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

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