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Need advice for unusual topic

A month ago I was taking a bath and while sitting on the ledge of the bathtub I noticed some movement coming from under the door. At first I thought my cat was trying to "scratch" his way into the bathroom because he likes to lay next to the tub while I soak. Well, that was not the case. What I saw was an iPod Nano being stuck under the door. I quickly grabbed my towel and went into my bedroom to find my 16 year old stepson walking out of my room. He tried to say he was looking for something in my room but obviously that was a lie. I asked him for his iPod twice and he finally gave it to me. My fear was confirmed, he had been filming me under the door while he dad was downstairs in his chair watching TV. Needless to say I'm not sure how to "get over" this. I'm going through counseling and we're making him go to counseling as well but I can't help but feel unsafe in my own home.

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casmith1980

Asked by casmith1980 at 10:07 PM on Aug. 29, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Not ok. Does his dad know? That nano needs to be gone. Sorry you have to deal with such a bad situation:(
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 10:09 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • It is really hard to stick an Ipod Nano under the door and get anything on film. This is the billionth time I have read a situation just like this and find it hard to believe. You try sticking an Ipod blindly under a door and see what happens.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • Until this kid learns not to disrespect his dad's wife...
    Roll up a towel and put it at the base of the door when you're undressed.
    If his dad doesn't do anything about this, you married an____hole.
    Ametrine

    Answer by Ametrine at 10:15 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • Our son has an ipod nano and it would easily slide under the doors in our house, only because after reading this I was curious and tried it........ Whether this is true or not is another question, but if it is I would take the ipod out and run over it with my car. Then I would ground him to the house, give him a ton of horrible chores, and call the police and scare the shit out of him....
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:15 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • Yeah, I'm calling troll. I've read this before and the idea of anyone being so traumatized by a teen boy that they need therapy is laughable!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:15 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • Let me clarify:

    1. I caught him a week prior to this incident looking under my bedroom door while I was getting ready for work. I didn't think anything of it because I laid on my stomach trying to look under the door and I couldn't see anything but toes. I NEVER thought to put a recording device under the door.

    2. His dad knows.

    3. I have the iPod. There is film of me. I watched the video.

    casmith1980

    Comment by casmith1980 (original poster) at 10:16 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • To further clarify, my husband has taken him to a psychologist and a psyciatrist which both have said "I'm not a specialist in this type of behavior. There's something wrong mentally but I'm not sure I'm the best fit for this situation".

    We first had him stay at his mom's apartment while we worked through this but BM thought that meant my husband and I were separating...

    My husband has been very supportive through this, but I guess what I'm looking for is just advice on how to deal with this emotionally. I meet with a therapist every other week but that doesn't do anything about the emotional ups and downs I feel on a day to day basis. We've taken the iPod away as well as his cell phone...and I have no idea how to tell my 12 year old son why his stepbrother has no privileges (my son was with his dad when this incident took place).
    casmith1980

    Comment by casmith1980 (original poster) at 10:25 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • Has your DH talked to him about his behavior and why it is unacceptable? If he can't control himself after your DH talks to him then you need to look into getting him the help he needs and possible legal consequences because if he is doing this to you he could have done this to someone else. He has broken your trust and that is going to be hard to earn back.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 10:30 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • Truthful I would be putting a lock on my bedroom door. If talking to him and counselling is not working. Maybe he needs to go live with his mom. If possible.  Is he big enough to sexually assault you?  That's what I would be worrying about.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:39 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

  • Wow...what a tough situation to be in. I think your DH needs to sit down with him and have a chat and I do think it's important to find a counselor or therapist to help him.
    tspillane

    Answer by tspillane at 10:42 PM on Aug. 29, 2011

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