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I'm pregnant by another man

DH and I have been on the "outs" for a few months now. We have been living separately and basically starting over without one another. We currently have 2 kids together, and I just found out that I am pregnant by the man that I have been seeing for the past few months. I am so confused. I am seriously considering abortion b/c I don't want this pregnancy to give DH a reason to try to take my other 2 children. Ladies, what would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • first off he cant take your other two children just becuz your pregnant so to abort that baby for that reason is selfish IMO. If your done with him get a divorce set up custody arrangements.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 12:28 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Well, it seems you just jumped into another relatinship right quick. Is your husband being sqeaky clean? I personally would not abort, but, thats just me. Just deal with the consequences and go on with your life. Does your husband deserve the 2 children or is he seeing and sleeping with others also.

    Answer by Kat122 at 12:30 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I agree with everyone else....why is abortion the answer? I have hd abortions before and deeply regret all of them, even though at the time it was the best absolute best option. Why do you think he could use that against you? You best option would be to not tell anyone about your pregnancy yet and start divorce papers and custody papers

    Answer by hautemama83 at 12:36 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • He can't take the children b/c you're pregnant by another man. But, he can use it to not pay you spousal support

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • A dear friend of mine found herself pregnant by another man while she was still married (not even separated) from her husband who had a vasectomy. You bite the bullet...her quote was "I f***ed, I made a baby, I'm going to be a divorced mommy but it's not the baby's fault".

    Answer by kabbot01 at 12:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Where we live, you can't just get a divorce. You have to be separated for at least a year. Yes, he can use this pregnancy against me b/c he can prove adultery. I don't think he is "squeaky clean", but I don't have any proof.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • He can't get custody of the children because you are pregnant. He would have to prove that you are unfit. Are you in a relationship with this other man? Does he have kids? A job? No criminal past? Does he know? If all these are "good" answers then you'll be fine. You may not be able to get spousal support because you are pregnant.

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 12:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • WTH state is that that you have to be separated for a year? I have never heard of that and most of the time that just means that your divorce wont be Finalized you can still file. And if your state has that adultery is a reason for a divorce that just means its the reason you guys broke up it DOES NOT mean he has a better chance at getting your kids

    Answer by hautemama83 at 12:53 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • IMO, you shouldn't abort... regardless of the circumstances. I don't think abortion is ever the answer. Like a pp said, I don't think he can just take your kids. He may be able to use the adultery against your character, but nothing more. I live in VA and you have to be separated for a year before filing for divorce here, too. It does kind of suck, but I guess that's the law b/c it gives you time to reconcile in case you want to. It doesn't really seem as if you want to reconcile, though. Just keep goin' Mama! You aren't the first woman to ever be in this situation.

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 12:57 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • He can't take your kids just because you are pregnant by another man... he'd have to prove that you are an unfit parent. So if I were you all I would worry about it what do you want... just this simple question with out all the what ifs that may go with it... Do you want to have that baby?

    Answer by dtetz at 1:22 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

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