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What should I do?

Ok here goes. My brother's been with his girlfriend for 5 years and he's never brought her home to meet my mom or me. He lives 14 hours away but everytime he comes home he's alone. Well I decided to fly up and visit him for the holidays. My mom made me promise to take a picture of her and bring it back. I met his girlfriend and instantly realized why he's been hiding her. She has this thing going on with her eyes. I don't want to offend anyone because I don't know a nice way to say it but both of her eyes didn't follow each other.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • In that case you really do need to talk with you brother first about the whole thing, and see how he really feels about it I would just be honest and say something like "hey mom wantde to know why I didn't bring any pics back" and see what he says
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 1:07 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • CONT: She was a very sweet person and I enjoyed talking to her. Well when I got home my mom asled me about her and wanted to see the picture. I told her that I left my camera at home and I would have to bring it when I come back. Should I tell mom about her eyes or just keep quite? If she ever meets her then she's going to know that I hid it from her. If I tell then my brother will probably get upset with me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I think the better question is if your brother is ashamed by her or just protecting her. Does he think you and your mom wont like and accept her because she has this issue? (BTW I think its called a lazy eye or something like that) You obviously think she is a nice person. You need to talk w/ your brother about why he feels that is a reason to hide her from you guys, and explain to him that its not a big deal that you liked her company maybe that you see the same good qualities she has, so it helps him to feel more comfortable. And lastly do you think your mom will not like her because of this issue?
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 12:43 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • First, the condition she has is not that abnormal. Lots of people have it...most people's are better if they wear glasses...I would be more concerned about why he feels the need to hide it as well. Is your family the kind of people that would make her feel uncomfortable about it? I mean there really isn't anything she can do to correct it.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 12:47 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I think that is a very superficial reason to be keeping her from you and your mother and if that is the reason then she needs to move on and find someone who will accept her and love her just the way that she is. I think it is unfair of your brother to keep her hidden b/c of a physical appearance that she has no control over. I also don't see why it would matter to you or your mother if she was sweet and you enjoyed talking with her. I think you should talk to your brother and ask him if that is the reason he is keeping her under wraps.
    micrespo

    Answer by micrespo at 12:48 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • OP: My mom would definately have some hurtful things to say about her. The person I use to be would have said a lot of hurtful things as well but I'm a completely different person after growing up. I know that lazy eyes are not uncommon I just don't know if I should be the one to tell our mom or just wait for him. I don't have a problem with her at all. Whatever issues he has with hiding her is between him and her. I'm just not sure if it's my place to tell our mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • your brother shouldn't be ashamed of his g/f... somethings not right there...maybe there is more to it... like maybe hes worried the family will be to judgemental... maybe the g/f is worried... I'd ask him before you said anything to anyone... maybe its all a big misunderstanding?
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 1:20 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • You and your brother sound so vain...my God...big deal, she has something going on with her eyes. She needs to get herself a new boyfriend, since it sounds like your brother is ashamed of her. Tell mom to hold on tight to the chair when you tell her that she has an eye problem..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:16 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Dannee,
    Why do I sound vain when I clearly said that I don't have a problem with her at all? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HER. My brother knows my mom just as well as I do and she WILL have a problem with it, not me. It's clear that he has a problem with her appearance because he's hiding her but I can't do anything about that. Yes I think she should leave him and yes I think she should be hurt by his actions but that's her choice. My choice is to either tell our mother or not. Hopefully I'll figure it all out soon but thanks for your input & suggestions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Why is it so hard to tell your mother....to begin with...
    So she is not perfect...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:33 PM on Dec. 29, 2008