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What do I say to my friend that lost her stepdaughter? How can i help her through this?

My friends step daughter was 7 years old and she got tangled in an electric fence. by the time EMT got to her they had to pry her from the fence. I don't know how to help her.

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MaryJane75

Asked by MaryJane75 at 3:13 PM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (11)
  • I am so sorry .... Just be there when she needs something... a friend to talk to, to cry to, even to yell too... Just let her know that you will be there for her...
    with something like this, there is no easy way to ease the pain...

    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 3:16 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I pray all is ok but is the little girl ok?
    You said...Your friend lost her sd do you mean she did not make it :( I hope I am wrong.

    But if she did loose her sd there is not much you can do but be with her as you have always been there.
    Where is her bm of the girl? What does she say of all this??? I cna not beieve this happened so sad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Just let her know you are there for her and be by her side. Help out around the house and cook some meals that are easily reheated.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:38 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • The little girl did pass around 2:00 friday afternoon. The child was in her mom's custody, but my friend and her husband was trying to get custody of the child. They don't know exactly what happened. It is being investigated by the police because the mother's story keeps changing. What the father and step-mom is having a hard time with is that this could have been prevented, and that it was such a painfull death for the child. My heart brakes for that family. That girl was going to make a difference in this worl some day, I just know she would.
    MaryJane75

    Answer by MaryJane75 at 3:58 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Just listen and be there for her. Don't try to fix it. Don't try to *make* her feel better. Let her be sad and have her time to mourn. You don't know what she's feeling, and thats okay. You're there for her - let her know she can call you day or night... that you are available for coffee if she wants to talk or a movie if she wants to be distracted.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 4:05 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I agree. About all one can do is just be there, let her know she is not alone. My mom has a saying hanging on her wall that says "If the Lord brings you to it, he will bring you through it".
    tigertwelve

    Answer by tigertwelve at 4:24 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • What is there to say? Being there may be all you can do right now. Pray with her if she is open to that, bring her food for visitors, call her to see how she is. I would ask her what you can do to practically help her. Is there anything that she needs done to prepare for the funeral? Can you house family from outside the area? She will really need you in the next year or two. Be there weekly for the above. Call her on her child's birthday, the first day of school, Christmas and any time that the tradegy and sadness would be especially felt. Send a note now and then just to say Hi. Keep being the friend you have been. She may need encouragment to see a grief counselor, work through a crisis in her faith, a shoulder to cry on. When the funeral is over, stop by and ask if you can help her with her child's things or if you can just sit with her. How sad. I am so very sorry.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:46 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I just lost a child and let me tell you what helps me the most it is when my friends come over and listen. talk with me about my child or other things.

    do not try to make anything better don't say you understand tell her you don't know how you would do it. follow her lead. if she wants distraction you will tell by her conversation but if she needs to cry be there and cry with her.

    be there for the awful times like when she cleans out her room. help. don't do it for her but you can help.
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 11:19 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • just be there, go over, clean up for her, listen to her, make something to eat, and take over, or take her out to lunch or dinner, just let her talk, about her step daughter, seems people. want to not, speak about the person who, has died, and sweep it under the rug, its helps when people, talk about the person, and the things that that person liked to do, don't avoid her, if you have nothing to say to her, just be there,
    chilimidos62

    Answer by chilimidos62 at 6:45 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • go find "love them like Jesus" by Casting crowns.
    Listen to it. then listen again.
    All you can really do is be there for them.
    PurpleCristal

    Answer by PurpleCristal at 1:35 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

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