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In January, I discovered that my husband had been having an emotional affair with a co-worker. Fortunately, it had never become physical (since she was pregnant when they fell "in love") and eventually, he and I decided to work on our relationship. I won't go into the details, but since I know he must run into her at the office sometimes (they are in different buildings), I wonder how he is managing this. I admit I have checked up on him (his email, chats, etc.) from time to time, but I try not to because I am truly trying to begin trusting him again.
I only married him because he was the only man never to lie to me (before this situation). We had had a hard time recently because of my two-year deep depression, and when I had emerged from it, this is what I discovered and it made me really loathe him and lose all respect for him. The thing is that we have two children and I actually do care about him. In his heart, he is a good person and is an amazing father. I cannot imagine them living without their dad on a daily basis. I can see the benefits for our children of them having both of their parents, but honestly, I keep wanting to leave or at least take time off from our relationship. When he gets home from work, I am bummed out because I don't really want to have to spend time with him. I don't have that "love" feeling I used to have.
I used to look at him and feel so much, and now I look at him and think "is he still lying?", "will he lie again?", "do I want to be with him?". These are not good things to have in your head every time you look at the person you are supposed to love.
I would love some advice (not just "leave that SOB" - I'm already there) about how to trust again. Leaving is the easy answer. Has anyone rebuilt their relationship after something like this?
Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Aug. 31, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Aug. 31, 2011
Answer by NannyB. at 2:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2011
Answer by Dahis at 2:24 PM on Aug. 31, 2011
Answer by vicesix at 2:27 PM on Aug. 31, 2011
Answer by kgrine at 3:27 PM on Aug. 31, 2011
Answer by Chris0110 at 11:18 PM on Aug. 31, 2011
Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:34 AM on Sep. 6, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 4:16 PM on Aug. 31, 2011