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Does anyone else have a hard time bonding with one of their children?

I have a 22 month old and twin 11 month olds. I don't get any breaks away from all the kids, sometimes I'll get a break away with 1, but never by myself.
I feel I have a good bond with the oldest and one of the twins. Both twins (preemies) were very fussy , but one took a lot longer to settle down. He had me up every 1 1/2 hours for months to eat, he's still super sensitive and whines easily and often. I feel horrible because I have so little patience for him. He seems to live to push my buttons, though I know he's not doing it on purpose. He poops as soon as I put a clean diaper on, rarely naps but whines because he's tired. I see my brother who was a whiny and tantrumy child, I see my BIL who is hard to deal with (he looks just like them) But he's his own person and I do love him, but he "gets" to me. I wasn't the favorite and it hurts, what can I do?


Asked by mommyonhawaii at 4:18 PM on Dec. 29, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (2)
  • I wouldn't say I had a hard time bonding with my child, and I doubt you REALLY do either, but some babies can seem more like a "job" than others. I had multiple miscarriages before I conceived my daughter and I was so worried that something would happen that I didn't really bond with her while I was pregnant...and after she was born she was a VERY needy baby...she wouldn't eat or sleep and I was running on empty every day for was hard to get that "in love" feeling I thought I should have when I hadn't had any sleep and heard nothing but fussing. It will pass and you will have more time to realize how in love you are.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 4:23 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I am really sorry that you are going through this, it must be agonizing. I would suggest you get away, believe me I know that is easier said then done, but make it a priority. I have 3 kids, and at one time I had 3 under the age of five, and I would feel that way sometimes, and I noticed that even if I got several hours away I was able to handle it much better. Good luck, and if you just need someone to talk to don't hesitate, sometimes a vent really helps.

    Answer by Jazak at 4:27 PM on Dec. 29, 2008