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3 Bumps

Help!! What do I do about questionable behavior from my 15 year old daughter?

Me and my daughter are close I thought; I get up at 5:30 do her hair, sometimes her make-up, pick out her clothes, and get her whatever else she wants, she asks me to do this and i lve doing it ( she is my only girl out of 4 kids). But today I picked up her IPod to look at her music and she freaked out she wrestled and physically try to wrench it from me and deleted a converstion from it that she was having wit her new and first BF then I got suspitious and read the tail end of the conversation and it said to meet under the stairs at school, a notorious "bad" place. Then I was going to check her PC and she took another huge fit trying to take that from me I had to have my husband step in and help get her off. I found nasty reading material and pictures of her in her bikini. I took both items and deleted the pics, what would u do? Am I over reacting. She is a great kid makes straight A's and is in college classes and does chores around the house pretty good.

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WVMOMofa171314

Asked by WVMOMofa171314 at 7:13 PM on Aug. 31, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Have you met her new and first boyfriend? Maybe you or your dh need to have a conversation with him.
    Cafemomoftwo217

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 7:15 PM on Aug. 31, 2011

  • I agree with Cafemomoftwo.. I also would not be giving her the items back for a while and after that they would be routinely inspected.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 7:17 PM on Aug. 31, 2011

  • I try to inspect her items but she knows how to erase her history and has apps that don't hold the info and I have not met or talked to him and I don't know how to start I can be kind of ruff and I try to be friendly but it is so hard. What would I say "Hey quit talking vulgar to my daughter or else" lol.
    WVMOMofa171314

    Comment by WVMOMofa171314 (original poster) at 7:23 PM on Aug. 31, 2011

  • I would have a talk with his parents to see what they think as well, and try to make a plan together, I would think if the parents aren't people you could talk to it may not be a boy you want your daughter to date. I don't think you got overly upset your the parent and she is still young to young to understand consequences of certain bad decisions at that age girls are all emotion and need a mother to look out for them as much as they hate it now she will love you for it later

    DestineyBGP

    Answer by DestineyBGP at 7:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2011

  • i would insist on meeting the bf first of all.

    second, i would talk to her about the likelihood that something she posts on the internet now (pics, etc.) will likely be there forever. she may not like having her tech gadgets taken away, but she'll like it less when she goes for a job interview and the employer pulls up half-naked pictures of her 15yo self.
    mama_danetta

    Answer by mama_danetta at 7:58 PM on Aug. 31, 2011

  • I'd be meeting that boyfriend if she wanted any hope of continuing dating him. I also don't think I'd be giving her unlimited, unsupervised access to a computer or internet without parental controls. But that's just me.
    Eviesmommy

    Answer by Eviesmommy at 8:24 PM on Aug. 31, 2011

  • Honestly it sounds to me like she is 'scamming you'. She acts perfectly, gets good grades, is your BFF, all so you don't find out about thethings she is hiding. I would dig more.
    MommaSiete

    Answer by MommaSiete at 11:03 PM on Aug. 31, 2011

  • Readers Digest had a great article on the internet. It explained how once it is out there it is there forever. I made my kids read it, and explained if anyone ever took a picture and posted it, it is there forever. Future employers, spouses etc can find it. She needs to understand that some boys could take that bikini picture and post it, and it is forever. Also 15 is usually a freshman, some boys like to romance newly high school girls for their virginity. You need to constantly remind her why she should wait to have sex. My dau took a health class. It covered al l the STD's besides pregnancy. She came home, and told me I know why you told me to wait and have sex, I am definitely waiting until marriage. I would really talk to her and help her understand these are not good life choices. I would also take the ipod and watch her like a hawk. Tell her that this BF isn't being respectful of her with these messages, and end the rel
    moneymagnetmom

    Answer by moneymagnetmom at 12:03 AM on Sep. 1, 2011

  • relationship. Let her know she needs to earn the ipod back. Help her understand she needs to meet boys that respect her. Zig Ziglar has a great book about how to raise positive kids in a negative world. It had a great chapter on protecting our daughters. I have espoused the wiles of men to my daughters forever as I am buxom, and so are my daughters. I knew the type of attention they would received, and have tried to educate them to that behavior. One of my daughters got a message like you are discussing, I told her to text the boy back that was unacceptable, and not to text her anymore. If you are the heavy, that's ok. She needs to know your bounderies now. God Bless.
    moneymagnetmom

    Answer by moneymagnetmom at 12:08 AM on Sep. 1, 2011

  • Time for a talk with her and i would take away her communication til she did talk.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 3:48 AM on Sep. 1, 2011

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