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When grandparents buy your kids presents, do they insist that the gifts stay at their house?

This has created a HUGE problem between my DH and me. My parents insist that all gifts they buy our daughters as well as gifts that their friends and family send to her remain at their house. They will not let my daughter take any presents home to play with because they do not want them in our house; they even buy her clothes to keep only at their house.

They claim they do not want anyone in my DH's family to touch them or play with them!

Anyone else's parents keep all the presents at their place? My daughter only goes over there once every two weeks or so. Now, my DH is yelling at me to get all of her gifts from their house cause they belong to our daughter! I don't want to cause a scene or anything.

What do you ladies think?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • When I saw the question, I was thinking no but I wish they would, but after reading on all I can think is I'm sorry. That is a rotten position for your family to put you in; they are causing unnecessary tension between you and your husband. It sounds like it's time for a really hard conversation with your parents. I'm geussing there must be a reason they are doing this, and if the problem is very deep or complicated it might do you some good to talk it out with a minister or a counselor or some other third party before you bring it up to them. When people are acting that strange, it may take some time to get to the bottom of the real underlying problem. I wish you the best.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 5:19 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • First, I think your family is a little nuts for doing that...the gift is for the child, not for the child to get-fall in love with-and then only get to see a couple times a month. They outgrow things too fast for all that! Plus the whole thing about your DH's family not being able to touch them is weird to me too. I wouldn't go "collect" or anything, I would leave it as is and tell them you don't appreciate it and that if your child wont get to take her things with her, that you would prefer they simply not buy her anything else.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 5:09 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Well my parents buy stuff that stays at their house for our daughter too. And thats ok. Because that just means, that our daughter has some of her favor toys over there too and we dont need to bring them all the time.
    I dont have a problem with it. I appreciate that they buy toys ect. And if they buy it, well then i can leave them there. Some toys, that my daughter doesnt want to let go, we just take home and bring them back another day.

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:09 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Well, I am sorry, but, i think your family is bonkers for doing that and your DH has a right to be pissed. If your family is like that, I am sorry. Why can't your husbands family touch the toys ,have they got cooties, WHAT?I don't even know if I would go back over there the way they are acting.

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:10 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Completely inappropriate. My mom lets stuff go home, but she may buy a 2nd just for her house. My niece has panties and toys that stay at Grandma's but not everything stays. You need to put your foot down w/ your parents. This is wrong for your daughters on many levels.

    Answer by coala at 5:11 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Your parents may as well not buy her the gifts then. How old are they? 2 years old? If you daughter gets a gift from them she should be able to take it home if she wants to. What's the point if she can't do that? There are a few toys that my in-laws have bought for my boys that I have insisted on keeping there. They have been ultra noisy toys that I just don't wish to have in my home...that's my choice though, not theirs. I would have serious issues if they refused to let my boys take their toys home with them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I understand if they would watch her often, but once every two weeks. I think that is inappropriate. If they care enough for their grandaughter to at least let her take some toys home. I think you need to talk with your parents.

    Answer by PinkRose282 at 5:20 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • My parents buy toys that stay at their house for when my kids visit, but not in gift form. They just buy something and it's there. Gifts get to come home with my kids, unless my kids choose to leave them there (rare, but it has happened). Your parents reasoning is really ridiculous, and I can't really blame your hubby. What they are doing is petty, childish, and rather insulting to boot. "We don't want the family of the man you love, who fathered our grandchild, to touch these things". Yeah, I'd be insulted by that, too. I think if my parents pulled something like that, I'd tell them fine, keep the toys, and do us all a favor, and don't buy her anything else. Why waste the money if she can't even play with it?

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • i see it reasonable for the stuff they bought but not the stuff from your family and their friends if their friends didnt want your kids to have their stuff at home then theyd ask your parents to keep it there

    Answer by lovencasper5307 at 6:30 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • nvm i just read the rest that is rude but i would only insist on the things their friends and family bought not the things your parents bought because that was their money they spent on those things

    Answer by lovencasper5307 at 6:32 PM on Dec. 29, 2008