Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Can my ex subpeona my mothers income info to reduce his payments?

My ex wants to bring my mother & I to court to get his payments reduced stating that my mom (whose retired) helps support us so his portion should be reduced. I provide 70% already. Plus he wants to move our meeting place (per court) coz he moved, got in trouble with the law and lost his license & sold his car to pay the fine. He doesn't want to walk/take a taxi/bus to the meeting place anymore. What should I do? I'm thinking of getting a lawyer because he's stating i'm denying his vistation by not bring my son to his home directly instead of our meeting place. We go to the meeting place and he doesn't show up. Is this right?

Answer Question

Asked by mcf6539 at 6:44 PM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Money & Work

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • just becuz you live with your mother doesnt mean hes getting out of paying child support and the judge isnt going to care if your mother helps you or not he will just laugh at him.
    As for changing the meeting place it he really asking to much? I think its importent that your child sees his or hers father. Besides its cold out would you really want him walking with your kid in the cold? Try and be alittle reasonable in that situation.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 6:47 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • if you all have a meeting place, he cant get you introuble for that... but the judge might change the place.....i dont think that they will reduce the payments at all.... every case is diffrent in each state so it is hard to say... but i was told that the only way they might reduce the payments is if he lost his job or gets paid less now...

    Answer by Pooky_mommy at 6:50 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Your mother supporting you has no bearing on his child support. Child support is based on his income, and your income. Your mother's income is not yours, even if she is kind/caring/loving enough to use it to provide for you and your son.
    As for visitation, as long as you are doing what is stated in the court paperwork, then you are not in the wrong, and he can't get you for it. However, as Mommy2B04 says, can you work with him? My ex hasn't seen my kids in 4 yrs, by his choice. At this point, no I wouldn't work with him, but back then, when he was seeing them regularly, I would have gone to him to make sure my kids got to see their father. That hurts your child more than your ex, and it could backfire on you later, if your son decides on his own or is convinced that you stood in the way of his having a relationship with his dad b/c you didn't want to drive to his house. Just a thought.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • The court is going to look at who is legally obligated to pay for the and him...if he goes in there asking for your mother's financial information I would pull the card that "Mom wouldn't have to help support our child if you were paying for half of our child's needs". As far as the visitations go, that would be considered separately from child support...but if there have been legal problems from him, I would discuss that with the court too. I wouldn't feel comfortable sending my child to spend time with a criminal.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 6:57 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Agree with all above and get a lawyer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • let him take you to court, and laugh the whole way there!!!!1
    my sons father is married, and his wives income doesnt count, your mom's wont either.
    just smile and nod at him and let him make an ass of himslef in court
    good luck

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • i think it depends where you live and what your laws are. i know here in pa you could be married to a millionaire and still receive child support. the fact of the matter is that child is still his child and he should be contributing, for all he knows if your mom IS helping you out you could even be putting the money he gives you toward your childs education. he owes you and thats all there is to it

    id say get a lawyer and look into your rights and laws

    Answer by learae at 9:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Do you have Legal Aid or Child Support legal aid in your area? Your mom's income shouldn't have any outcome whatsoever on his responsiblities. Even if you remarried, he could take you to court, but you and he are responsible for the child-- not anyone else.

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 1:43 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Your child is not your mother's responsibility, regardless of whether or not you live with her. The financially and legally responsible people for the child are you and the child's father.

    In Pennsylvania, when I filed for support about 8 years ago, they took the total income of both parents, and they came up with the percentage of the total income that each parent can contribute to the welfare of the child. For example, if you and your ex make a combined $2000 and $1400 of that is yours, then you will be responsible for 70% of the determined amount set to support the child financially and your ex would pay 30%. But your mother's income isn't involved, even if you live with her cost-free.

    I recommend getting a lawyer, and don't settle on anything without a mediator present either.

    Hope that helps!

    Answer by Ms.Melanie at 4:33 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.