Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

As a Step-Mom, how do you handle a completely ungreatful, unloving and almost useless mother to your step-child?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • by trying to be the best mother figure she/he has. Even tough your a stepmom doesn't mean you can't step in when the mom is useless.

    Answer by tfmmpmmdmmom at 2:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • With a loving and forgiving heart. She is dealing with your taking her place in her family and that has to be painful. Help her be a better person by being a good example. Appreciate what you have that she has lost. Her family. If you become her enemy, you could become her children's enemy as well, or destroy her relationship with them causing even more problems for yourself. Everyone has worth, look for hers and help her strengthen her talents for the good of all. You may find that you have things in common and can be friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Oh believe me, I do EVERYTHING in my power to be the best mother figure he can have. We do thing together, cook, crafts, sports, walk, ride bikes, I will say I'm not good on the video game front, but I try! The problem is, his mother does not appreciate any of it. I have been with his father since he was 2, he is now 11 and she still hates me. I dont know how to make things better and I feel like he is constantly in the middle of something which is not at all fair for a child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • The mom was never married to my step-son's father. In fact they were seperated by the time he was just a few months old. So, there is no real family disconection there. She has also since remarried and had a new child of her own.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I have a 7 year old step daughter and shes very picky. Her mom never does nothing with her. I've been with her dad since she was three years old. I've tried to do everything possible for her. I find Im always cooking different stuff for her than my own two kids. One which I have with her dad.

    Answer by Saraboo1674 at 3:10 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • You do what you gotta do. If you are by nature a loving, grateful and usefull mother... then just be yourself. Don't critizice the mother of your stepson, especially infront of her son or your now husband. Be who you are and they will see you are a 100% better mother.

    Answer by IBCris at 4:31 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • You focus on being the best parent you can be to your step-child(ren). In my family we say "though not child of body, you are the child of my heart." You are not there to replace anyone, just to love and raise your children the best you can. Try not to "judge" the natural mother and never attempt to prove to your step-child that their mom is a bad person. If the other parent makes mistakes that you have to address (like taking drugs, etc); approach the discussion without mentioning names or pointing fingers. Your duty is to assist your children to making good decisions; not to bring down someone that will always be close to their heart. You will only hurt the child you are supposed to cherish.

    Answer by DanicaMom at 5:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • im in the same place you are in. im a stepmom and my stepson mom is stupid. first of all, she gets on myspace and mentions her second son and doesn't mention her first born. second of all she never gets him anything for his bday or xmas. she rather go to oregon and visit friends instead of coming to see him. third of all when we found out he had adhd she acted like she didn't even know there was anything wrong with him. then she completly brainwashed my husband's second son that lives with her and he won't even come see his dad or brother. my husband hasn't seen his son in like 4 years, even though we send him stuff for his bday and xmas she still won't let him come and see us. i'm a 21 year old mom and i'm raising him as my son and me and my husband had another son. only advice i can give u is to raise him like he's yours and just try not to focus on the stupid bit*h, cause in the end she's the one missing out.


    Answer by jd4ever at 11:19 PM on Aug. 18, 2008

  • Don't focus on the negative so hopefully neither will the child...

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:43 PM on Aug. 19, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.